90th birthday Lady
A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 90th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..
When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high “I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the rooms aren’t worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay – I didn’t even have breakfast!”
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the ‘standard rate,’ and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: “This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them.”
”Well, they are here, and you could have.”
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.
“We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here.”
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows..” She Pleaded.
“Well, we have them, and you could have.” was the reply.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied,
“But I didn’t use it!” and the Manager countered with his
standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
“But Madam, this check is for only $50.00” “That’s correct” she replied “I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me.”
“But I didn’t sleep with you madam!” said the manager
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”!!
Cheers and Beers Graham 098
Swede
Loc: Trail, BC Canada
Judging by the responses of your last 50 or so "jokes" it might be time to find new subject matter- or, something that's new and funny, or at least one one them, new or funny.
Swede
Swede wrote:
Judging by the responses of your last 50 or so "jokes" it might be time to find new subject matter- or, something that's new and funny, or at least one one them, new or funny.
Swede
You are so extremely, amazingly, wonderfully kind and unbelievably friendly, your warmth reaches out to me from your caring loving tender heart, unique really
in absolute true fact, this is the first time I have ever had a comment like this before. I thank you most very sincerely from the bottom of my heart. It's lovely when my efforts are received and explained by such a wonderful, polite, adorable, fantastic, awesome brilliant, fabulous, magnificent, tremendous, superb, wondrous, astounding, stupendous, awe-inspiring, phenominal, dynamic, miraculous gentleman as you appear to be. I am overwhelmed with your kindness, thoughtfulness, courtesy, decency, cordiality, magnanimity and benevolence. Have an incomparable, topnotch, divine day.
As YOU are so sensatioally different,
Cheers and Champagne
A very very humble
Graham
098
Swede
Loc: Trail, BC Canada
Graham Thirkill wrote:
You are so extremely, amazingly, wonderfully kind and unbelievably friendly, your warmth reaches out to me from your caring loving tender heart, unique really
in absolute true fact, this is the first time I have ever had a comment like this before. I thank you most very sincerely from the bottom of my heart. It's lovely when my efforts are received and explained by such a wonderful, polite, adorable, fantastic, awesome brilliant, fabulous, magnificent, tremendous, superb, wondrous, astounding, stupendous, awe-inspiring, phenominal, dynamic, miraculous gentleman as you appear to be. I am overwhelmed with your kindness, thoughtfulness, courtesy, decency, cordiality, magnanimity and benevolence. Have an incomparable, topnotch, divine day.
As YOU are so sensatioally different,
Cheers and Champagne
A very very humble
Graham
098
You are so extremely, amazingly, wonderfully kind ... (
show quote)
Another heartfelt reply from another member of the "Warm and fuzzy critiques only" need reply club. There is a several members on this forum, bet you can name a few of them,
In MY opinion, which I believe I am premited. Some times too much is just that. I counted 10 this morning alone, of which I haven't seen somewhere else. Would you go and see a comedian that his/her entire act is nothing but old jokes?
Swede
I am from ireland and heard all those jokes years ago and we are supposed to be thick lol
maranatha wrote:
I am from ireland and heard all those jokes years ago and we are supposed to be thick lol
I never heard that the Irish were thick. some other things perhaps but never thick.
Swede wrote:
Another heartfelt reply from another member of the "Warm and fuzzy critiques only" need reply club. There is a several members on this forum, bet you can name a few of them I counted 10 this morning alone, of which I haven't seen
somewhere before. You are ridiculously contradicting your self
somewhere else. Would you go and see a comedian that his/her entire act is nothing but old jokes?quote
In MY opinion, which I believe I am premited. Some times too much is just that.
Swede
Another heartfelt reply from another member of the... (
show quote)
-------------------------------------------------
And his previous Insults
"Quote Judging by the responses of your last 50 or so "jokes" it might be time to find new subject matter- or, something that's new and funny, or at least one one them, new or funny.
Swede quote"
-----------------
Before I deal with your comments about me I wish you to know that you are disgusting Iv'e seen your conspiracy with your other attic dwellers, setting your little gang against ChrisT. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves and be thrown off this forum immediately. That's what I would do to all of you, who are in this conspiracy, against another forum member. I have all your names and your messages. I may start a thread in the attic and post all the sneaky slimey messages and name and shame the lot of you.
Mr swede or are you a Swede, I don't know ?????but you obviously know me. What I post on here, has nothing at all to do with an individual like you. You say you are "premitedQUOTE" I have never heard that word before. If you are unhappy about me posting at least ten posts this morning report me to Admin. Also you said "I counted 10 this morning alone, of which I haven't
seen somewhere before"quote, What on earth are you talking about, you are just contradicting yourself. Swede or turnip whatever your name is, in the past sixteen days, my posts have had just over 80,000 hits. So my stuff is enjoyable to quite a few people. How many hits have your topics registered. Or are you too busy with your cohorts, conspiring against a fellow forum member.
GrahamThirkill
098
maranatha wrote:
I am from ireland and heard all those jokes years ago and we are supposed to be thick lol
Your avatar says you have been here since May 2012 and never posted a topic and only 9 messages my jokes posts must have
really woke you up. How. about breaking your duck and posting some new jokes. It would be areal treat for all of us.
Supposed to be thick are you. lollollollollol
Cheers and Beers\Graham
I don't post but I read every day and love Graham's jokes and stories, including the golden oldies. Keep going Graham. If someone doesn't like your posts, they don't need to read them.
Great Stuff.......Graham, please keep your wonderful jokes coming.......I"m one of your biggest fans...
Graham Thirkill wrote:
90th birthday Lady
A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 90th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..
When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high “I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the rooms aren’t worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay – I didn’t even have breakfast!”
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the ‘standard rate,’ and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: “This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them.”
”Well, they are here, and you could have.”
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.
“We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here.”
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows..” She Pleaded.
“Well, we have them, and you could have.” was the reply.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied,
“But I didn’t use it!” and the Manager countered with his
standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
“But Madam, this check is for only $50.00” “That’s correct” she replied “I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me.”
“But I didn’t sleep with you madam!” said the manager
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”!!
Cheers and Beers Graham 098
90th birthday Lady br br br A lady decided to gi... (
show quote)
Sendai5355
Loc: On the banks of the Pedernales River, Texas
I too enjoy your daily posts. Keep them coming.
Graham I enjoy everything you post. As for the Swede not so much.
If you want to reply, then
register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.