Huey Driver Loc: Texas

As I get older

#1 - I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.

#2 - I consider "On Trend" to be the clothes that still fit.

#3 - I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.

#4 - My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 - The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

#6 - I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.

#7 - These days, "on time" is when I get there.

#8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.

#9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer
For ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

#10 - Lately, I've noticed people my age are so much older than me.

#11 - "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why
I'm there.

#12 - When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it
Feels like a mini vacation.

#13 - Some days I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed.

#14 - I thought growing old would take longer.

#15 - Aging sure has slowed me down, but it hasn't shut me up.

#16 - I still haven't learned to act my age.

317tman Loc: Indianapolis, In

Would be really funny if so many weren’t so close to home.

NMGal Loc: NE NM

Amen!

Sirsnapalot Loc: Hammond, Louisiana

Too true! And not funny

JeffL Loc: New Jersey

As to #16: Aging is mandatory; maturing is optional!

Graveman Loc: Indiana

When's this "old enough to know better" supposed to start?

Stephan G

This is offset by the forgetfulness in old age. We tend to forget what we "know better".

"I'll tell you why! In three hours, as soon as I remember it!"

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

You’ve been reading my mind--stop that!

ebbote Loc: Hockley, Texas

Me, myself and I had a long and heated discussion and came to the conclusion that all of these are true, especially #1, thanks for the laugh Barry.

stepha11 Loc: Trail British Coluimbia

A sign of wisdom from old age is that I find them funny rather than awful--

Vince68 Loc: Wappingers Falls, NY

Very funny, but so very true too.

TonyBot

I noticed a few years ago that people were calling me "sir". Now I'm upset cause the also hold the door open!

Photoninny Loc: Monterey Bay Area

As my grandfather would say:
Too soon old;
Too late smart.

Sunrisepano Loc: West Sub of Chicago

Ever notice how years fly by faster as we age. I figured out why that is. To a one year old, a year is an entire lifetime. To a ten year old, it is 10% of his life. To a fifty year old, it is 2% of his life. Time flies faster the older you get.

drainbamage

I thought time would slow down after I retired, and I would be bored silly. But the opposite has been true. Having the time to fit in fun things into my life has taken the place of the mundane work week. I wake up on a Monday, blink, and suddenly it's Friday! And I spend hardly anything!