Google at its Best
Aug 5, 2017 16:04:12 #
- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir, this is Google's pizza.
- Did I dial a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought the business.
- OK. Can you take my order please.
- Well sir, do you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to your caller ID, in the last 12 times you ordered pizza with extra cheese, pepperoni and thick crust.
- Okay! That sounds like it…
- May I suggest to you this time - ricotta, spinach and dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables!
- But your cholesterol is high.
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last five years.
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine.
- You have not taken the medicine regularly. 4 months ago, you only purchased a box of 30 tablets at Discount Pharmaceuticals.
- I bought more from another pharmacy.
- It's not showing on your credit card.
- I paid cash.
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement.
- I have another source of cash.
- This is not showing on your last tax return. So you got it from undeclared income source?
- WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet, where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me.
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it expired 5 weeks ago.
- No sir, this is Google's pizza.
- Did I dial a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought the business.
- OK. Can you take my order please.
- Well sir, do you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to your caller ID, in the last 12 times you ordered pizza with extra cheese, pepperoni and thick crust.
- Okay! That sounds like it…
- May I suggest to you this time - ricotta, spinach and dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables!
- But your cholesterol is high.
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last five years.
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine.
- You have not taken the medicine regularly. 4 months ago, you only purchased a box of 30 tablets at Discount Pharmaceuticals.
- I bought more from another pharmacy.
- It's not showing on your credit card.
- I paid cash.
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement.
- I have another source of cash.
- This is not showing on your last tax return. So you got it from undeclared income source?
- WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet, where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me.
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it expired 5 weeks ago.
Aug 5, 2017 16:27:26 #
Aug 5, 2017 16:40:30 #
Aug 5, 2017 16:57:20 #
I agree. Scary isn't. Maybe worse than Big Brother.
Aug 5, 2017 17:19:40 #
Aug 6, 2017 14:48:32 #
Aug 7, 2017 10:22:16 #
Tikva
Loc: Waukesha, WI
Hilarious. I'm afraid there is more truth to this than we would like to believe. Everything about us is somewhere on a computer. If they ever start talking to each other, then the above would be just around the corner.
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.