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Meddling Mother-In-Law
Jun 19, 2012 10:53:52 #
Beloved, I know how you must feel. But you ask something that has nothing to do with camera settings. Rather customer settings. Learning how to set customer expectation is to be learned as well. Never lose control of the sale with your customer. Because have already set an expectation, you now must live with it and learn for the next. Photo to along with the post. ~ Smile
Jun 19, 2012 11:20:32 #
Give a little; take a little. Turn on your selective hearing. Hear some of what she says, miss the rest. Do what you know works. ALYN
Jun 19, 2012 11:28:17 #
I reply from the perspective, not only of an amateur photographer, but as a minister who has officiated many weddings (and funerals!). There is a mantra in my profession that says, "Give me a funeral over a wedding any day!" Weddings are exercises in compromise. More often than not, those compromises come between minister and mothers. So, I offer this advice (but only because you asked for it)...
Be as kind as you can be. Do as much as you can to make her happy, within reason, of course. Stand up to her only at the point of your professional integrity. Be glad when it is all over, collect your fee with a smile and thank-you, and you may just have made a friend who will recommend you to others who will need your services. Indeed, be bold and ask her to do just that. She might be happy to do so.
BTW, I've encountered a few photographers over the years who made MILs look like pussycats!
Be as kind as you can be. Do as much as you can to make her happy, within reason, of course. Stand up to her only at the point of your professional integrity. Be glad when it is all over, collect your fee with a smile and thank-you, and you may just have made a friend who will recommend you to others who will need your services. Indeed, be bold and ask her to do just that. She might be happy to do so.
BTW, I've encountered a few photographers over the years who made MILs look like pussycats!
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Jun 19, 2012 11:41:14 #
First question... Why did she hire you? If she likes your photography then great! If not, run. Do you not have a only photographer clause in your contract? It sounds as if you shoot journalistic style and if so she needs to be made aware of this. Since she wants shots you don't want to take let her take them instead. Work out a shot schedule with her and you both will be happy. Shot list are for amateurs and brides that have read too many blogs. A pro knows what to shoot when to shoot it and from where to be to get the best shots. As a professional you will have a style of shooting, a certain look to your shots. The only list that I request from the bride and groom and from the person paying for the shoot are pics that are not the norm or of certain friends or family members-groupings.Also what makes the ceremony special and unique to them. (the bridal gown was also her mothers dress, the hand made linens by aunt mary, etc) Also who do you not want in your photos.
Jun 19, 2012 11:42:13 #
Jun 19, 2012 11:45:29 #
Jun 19, 2012 11:47:06 #
To bad she can't just do the laundry list of photo's with out getting in the way of your professional shots.
Best of luck on this shoot. It does sound like you will be under stress before, during, and even after the wedding.
Best of luck on this shoot. It does sound like you will be under stress before, during, and even after the wedding.
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Jun 19, 2012 11:47:36 #
Moray wrote:
Put the price up
Love this! Call it an aggravation fee! Additional shot work fee...
Jun 19, 2012 11:58:13 #
Jun 19, 2012 12:18:17 #
allen finley photography wrote:
Shot list are for amateurs and brides that have r... (show quote)
Amateurs?? Really?? If you are talking about details, exchange of vows, first kiss, then yes I agree. But you contradict yourself a bit with this.
All of this is on a comprehensive shot list. It could be the B&G have some they want, some they don't. I disagree that a shot list is for amatuers. I have been using one for years to ensure the clients get what they want.
Jun 19, 2012 12:29:50 #
mrlighteyez wrote:
Thanks for the comments everyone....To answer a fe... (show quote)
Normally the list MIL gave you is a suggested list of events that are needed to be covered, take that list as a suggestion for possible shots, and keep those at the top of your list. The Bride, even if not spoken, has a secret list of must have shots. Those are a must have for her.
At your next meeting, most likely the Rehearsal and Dinner, ask MIL if she plans on bringing her camera. If yes, remind her that she contracted with you and your work takes priority, also suggest to her that she is welcome to take all the photos she wants after you have finished with each event.
Use her list of photos as a suggestion list and try to accomplish her desires.
Michael G
Jun 19, 2012 12:52:05 #
If you plan on being a professional, you've got to expect these kinds of situations. You are already at the wedding in your mind, feeling the stress in your body with anticipation of how it will unfold. Take the excellent advice you've been offered, plan on using it, and look forward to photographing the wedding from the two perspectives. The MIL will no doubt be very busy on "THE" day trying to control everyone else once she knows you will be incorporating her wishes. Enjoy life and stay in the moment. This moment of being on UHH with invaluable mentors supporting you is a beautiful one.
Jun 19, 2012 12:57:25 #
Jun 19, 2012 13:07:13 #
skidooman wrote:
quote=allen finley photography Shot list are for... (show quote)
I agree with you skidooman and if I may add also that even pro's have a list if not writen then already in thier mind as to what pictures to take and how it should be done. Being a pro or professional means you do this as a living - it's your work but it dose not make you an expert.
Jun 19, 2012 13:11:02 #
.... and so the mess continues. What should/could a pro wedding photographer authority start when accepting a photo gig. One wonders what this situation could turn into IF, a friend was asked to shoot rather that a paid for pro?
BOTTOM LINE: A pro must have control of each assignment he accepts.
BOTTOM LINE: A pro must have control of each assignment he accepts.
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