an old man remembers
Nov 3, 2016 13:35:59 #
Wallowing in the angst of my own failing health i wanted to create the story
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
Nov 3, 2016 13:43:16 #
I think you did good, although I would like to see a slightly lower point of view and also include a good part of the window to complete the story.
Nov 3, 2016 13:51:49 #
Bushpilot wrote:
... I would like to see a slightly lower point of view and also include a good part of the window to complete the story.
how would you dcrop the original ro show a better presentation?
Nov 3, 2016 14:02:09 #
oldtigger wrote:
how would you dcrop the original ro show a better presentation?
I would crop from the left to just beyond the point of his elbow and a touch off the right to remove that yellow and red intrusion.
Try it, you might like it
Nov 3, 2016 14:42:18 #
think you're right graham; including the hands does seem to improve it.
Nov 3, 2016 15:44:11 #
oldtigger wrote:
think you're right graham; including the hands does seem to improve it.
The hands are very strong in the image, you see the hands first in my suggested crop, they look to be stressful hands. That then influences the way you see the face.
Nov 3, 2016 16:11:35 #
let us see what you came up with graham.
It stands to reason that the more picture elements contributing to the story line, the stronger the image will be.
It stands to reason that the more picture elements contributing to the story line, the stronger the image will be.
Nov 3, 2016 16:54:10 #
oldtigger wrote:
let us see what you came up with graham.
It stands to reason that the more picture elements contributing to the story line, the stronger the image will be.
It stands to reason that the more picture elements contributing to the story line, the stronger the image will be.
Here it is oldtigger.
Nov 3, 2016 21:38:07 #
Graham Smith wrote:
Here it is oldtigger.
Excellent crop. Including the discarded boxes increases the sense of forlorness. The expanded view turns the gaze from a watchful stare into a faraway gaze.
Nov 3, 2016 21:56:15 #
Graham Smith wrote:
Here it is oldtigger.
Nice image and Graham has nailed the crop IMHO, to help you accomplish the goal you described. In the smaller crop he looks like he might be worriedly watching out the window for a burglar, or the police, so it gives more an impression of hiding. The crop conveys some worry but is more pensive or even sad. The re-introduction of the hands, and the boxes, give us a more complete picture as well as new questions to ponder. Is he packing for a move he doesn't want to make? Has someone left his life? You've given us more, now, and created a more complex but still focused image.
Nov 3, 2016 23:58:39 #
Nov 4, 2016 00:47:04 #
I liked Grahams hands but removed the boxes which suggested possible escape
and put him back at a window watching the world go by.
I think the hands get rid of some of the furtive look.
and put him back at a window watching the world go by.
I think the hands get rid of some of the furtive look.
Nov 4, 2016 05:51:48 #
Heather Iles
Loc: UK, Somerset
oldtigger wrote:
Wallowing in the angst of my own failing health i wanted to create the story
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
This photo moved me and the crop suggested by Graham with the hands included, sure tell a story.
I wish you well regarding your health, oldtigger.
Nov 4, 2016 06:23:36 #
oldtigger wrote:
Wallowing in the angst of my own failing health i wanted to create the story
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
In a word and with all respect oldtigger, no.
There just isn’t enough to the shot to tell that story....
He doesn’t look particularly old.
There is nothing to convey that the man is in any way of failing health.
And I don’t see any window.
In the wider version that he is sitting on a wheelchair is not obvious.
He looks more as though he is sitting in the middle of a room, peering.
In fact the shot would make more sense if you had said that his wife wants him to finish unpacking the boxes and he’s hiding behind a pillar, trying to figure out how he can sneak out of the house for a game of golf.
Nov 4, 2016 06:37:53 #
Heather Iles
Loc: UK, Somerset
winterrose wrote:
In a word and with all respect oldtigger, no. br ... (show quote)
Sorry winterrose, but he is sitting in a wheelchair. It is better seen in the first version that was cropped and yes he is looking towards the light and no do doubt through a window. He looks ill also. No offence caused here, just my opinion.
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.