Wallowing in the angst of my own failing health i wanted to create the story
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
I think you did good, although I would like to see a slightly lower point of view and also include a good part of the window to complete the story.
Bushpilot wrote:
... I would like to see a slightly lower point of view and also include a good part of the window to complete the story.
how would you dcrop the original ro show a better presentation?
oldtigger wrote:
how would you dcrop the original ro show a better presentation?
I would crop from the left to just beyond the point of his elbow and a touch off the right to remove that yellow and red intrusion.
Try it, you might like it
think you're right graham; including the hands does seem to improve it.
oldtigger wrote:
think you're right graham; including the hands does seem to improve it.
The hands are very strong in the image, you see the hands first in my suggested crop, they look to be stressful hands. That then influences the way you see the face.
let us see what you came up with graham.
It stands to reason that the more picture elements contributing to the story line, the stronger the image will be.
Graham Smith wrote:
Here it is oldtigger.
Excellent crop. Including the discarded boxes increases the sense of forlorness. The expanded view turns the gaze from a watchful stare into a faraway gaze.
Graham Smith wrote:
Here it is oldtigger.
Nice image and Graham has nailed the crop IMHO, to help you accomplish the goal you described. In the smaller crop he looks like he might be worriedly watching out the window for a burglar, or the police, so it gives more an impression of hiding. The crop conveys some worry but is more pensive or even sad. The re-introduction of the hands, and the boxes, give us a more complete picture as well as new questions to ponder. Is he packing for a move he doesn't want to make? Has someone left his life? You've given us more, now, and created a more complex but still focused image.
I liked Grahams hands but removed the boxes which suggested possible escape
and put him back at a window watching the world go by.
I think the hands get rid of some of the furtive look.
oldtigger wrote:
Wallowing in the angst of my own failing health i wanted to create the story
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
This photo moved me and the crop suggested by Graham with the hands included, sure tell a story.
I wish you well regarding your health, oldtigger.
oldtigger wrote:
Wallowing in the angst of my own failing health i wanted to create the story
of an old man looking out the window at the world he can no longer command.
Did i succeed?
In a word and with all respect oldtigger, no.
There just isn’t enough to the shot to tell that story....
He doesn’t look particularly old.
There is nothing to convey that the man is in any way of failing health.
And I don’t see any window.
In the wider version that he is sitting on a wheelchair is not obvious.
He looks more as though he is sitting in the middle of a room, peering.
In fact the shot would make more sense if you had said that his wife wants him to finish unpacking the boxes and he’s hiding behind a pillar, trying to figure out how he can sneak out of the house for a game of golf.
winterrose wrote:
In a word and with all respect oldtigger, no.
There just isn’t enough to the shot to tell that story....
He doesn’t look particularly old.
There is nothing to convey that the man is in any way of failing health.
And I don’t see any window.
In the wider version that he is sitting on a wheelchair is not obvious.
He looks more as though he is sitting in the middle of a room, peering.
In fact the shot would make more sense if you had said that his wife wants him to finish unpacking the boxes and he’s hiding behind a pillar, trying to figure out how he can sneak out of the house for a game of golf.
In a word and with all respect oldtigger, no. br ... (
show quote)
Sorry winterrose, but he is sitting in a wheelchair. It is better seen in the first version that was cropped and yes he is looking towards the light and no do doubt through a window. He looks ill also. No offence caused here, just my opinion.
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