hlmichel Loc: New Hope, Minnesota

My kids are lazy.
I remember being lazy like that when I was their age, so I guess the warnings that our kids would treat us the way we treated our parents were true.
The wife can crack the whip and get them to do something, but once she is out of sight, all work stops. I’m the fun one, so no one takes me seriously. But, if I start cleaning myself, then everyone will jump up and start helping. We’ll have a great time cleaning together.
Lately, I’ve been coming home to find the wife already left for work, the kids lounging around and a sink full of dirty dishes. As soon as I close the front door, I just grab my iPad and disable the Wi-Fi until the place is clean.
What follows is an email that I sent to my kids yesterday. Feel free to copy and use it for your own kids.

“Can I please not have a mountain of dishes to wash when I come home tonight?
You would be saving the earth.
Every time I come home to a dirty house I get mad.
When I get mad my innate powers grow stronger.
When my innate powers grow stronger they will eventually tear a hole in the fabric of time and space.
If I tear a hole in the fabric of time and space, the earth will be in danger of attack from powerful beings that view my newly awakened powers as a sign that the earth is ready for a higher form of war.
If the earth is deemed ready for a higher form of war then an alien army from another part of the galaxy will come to conquer the earth.
If an alien army from another part of the galaxy comes to conquer the earth I will not be enough to defend or avenge the earth.
If I am not strong enough to defend or avenge the earth we will be enslaved by the alien race from another part of the galaxy.
If we are enslaved by the alien race from another part of the galaxy, they will make us wash their dishes….
Irony is a cruel mistress.

Murray Loc: New Westminster

Let me know how you make out with that :-)

Quixdraw Loc: x

[quote=hlmichel]My kids are lazy.
I remember being lazy like that when I was their age, ....

Threats to be used / kept to get housework shared:;-)

Router shut off, locked away
Parental password on the TV locking out their Faves
Playing my old vinyls at volume all week end
Nothing but veg in the fridge
No pop or snack foods in the house
Locking any bikes (don't know how old they are)
Grounded for whenever works
Taking the door off their room (this is the nuclear weapon) and putting it in the basement

You being in Minnesota, the quick whack I used to get now and then as a kid is Forbidden.

Only needed to go to "No door on your room for a week"
one time

Good Luck!
From a mean Dad whose kids turned out well.

Keldon Loc: Yukon, B.C.

I just threatened to sing! That got them moving, I tell you!

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

You should give a prize to the kid who read the farthest in your post. I bet none of them got past the fifth line. :D

rugerbearcat Loc: Newport Beach, Calif.

I used to tell our kids, "Remember, if you ever do that again, your mother and I can kill you and make another one just like you and no one will ever know. . .!"

hlmichel Loc: New Hope, Minnesota

Lol, you can't say stuff like that these days.

A few years back my son told me he was going to call 911 on me if I didn't give him some cookies--that's a story worthy of a seperate thread.

It ended with a slap, of course.

hlmichel Loc: New Hope, Minnesota

That wouldn't work for my kids...

They tell me I sound like a rock star when I sing.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Definitely! Child Services would be there in an instant. :D

Keldon Loc: Yukon, B.C.

I sound like a rock. And not a very melodious one, either.

hlmichel Loc: New Hope, Minnesota

We got a letter from CPS telling us that an investigator was going to visit us. I called and after a bit of conversation was told the investigator would show up on a certain day.
But just for chuckles, she showed up a week or so later.

During our interview it came out that during a meeting about bullying at school, a teacher asked all the kids to share stories--she promised that everything said in the room stayed in the room.
My daughter talked about something from 7 or so years earlier but didn't mention that it was an old story.

When I told the full story, the interview was pretty much over.

As she told me that it seemed like I was expecting her. I told her I was because of the letter I'd gotten.
Seems like someone at the office had screwed up. It was supposed to be a surprise visit.