Truth and Rules
Oct 25, 2015 14:11:56 #
Truth and 5 Rules of Life
SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats".
But, none of them comes up to the man - touches his penis and say, "Good job".
Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then neither does milk.
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BONUS RULE:
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats".
But, none of them comes up to the man - touches his penis and say, "Good job".
Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then neither does milk.
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BONUS RULE:
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Oct 26, 2015 06:52:22 #
Oct 26, 2015 08:42:46 #
Oct 26, 2015 09:41:21 #
Oct 26, 2015 10:09:34 #
Oct 26, 2015 11:21:39 #
Oct 26, 2015 12:08:11 #
Oct 26, 2015 14:42:44 #
Oct 26, 2015 18:51:33 #
Oct 27, 2015 00:41:55 #
Than there was the little dog that crossed the railroad tracks just as the train was coming. He didn't quite make it. Part of his tail was cut off. So he stuck his head back in to see what happened to his tail. So remember. never loose your head over a peace of tail.
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