Mechanics Are Cool
Oct 23, 2015 08:01:28 #
Maintenance People with a sense of humor
Just in case you needed a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident....
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> > S: Live bugs on back-order.
> > *
> > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
> > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget
Sarge69
Just in case you needed a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident....
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> > S: Live bugs on back-order.
> > *
> > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
> > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget
Sarge69
Oct 23, 2015 08:04:30 #
Oct 23, 2015 08:11:39 #
Oct 24, 2015 05:56:56 #
Oct 24, 2015 08:16:41 #
Having worked on aircraft for over forty years I have seen some real crazy pilot write ups and mechanic responses. These are very believable and I have seen a few of them actually used.
Oct 24, 2015 08:33:48 #
That is why no accidents. Those mechanics sure know how to solve problems :lol:
Oct 24, 2015 08:54:19 #
I've seen this many time before. It's always worth a chuckle though. More people could use a good sense of humour.
Oct 24, 2015 09:57:50 #
Oct 24, 2015 10:11:01 #
If you are talking about United Parcel Service, they have had several a/c accidents including killing both pilots in an accident in Birmingham, Al
Oct 24, 2015 10:20:42 #
Very good. Must be a few years old - UPS lost a plane in 2013 in Alabama - pilot fatigue and errors were blamed...
Oct 24, 2015 12:20:20 #
sarge69 wrote:
Maintenance People with a sense of humor
Just in case you needed a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.
Sarge69
Just in case you needed a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.
Sarge69
Old but good. However, it doesn't take a college degree to fly an airplane.
Oct 24, 2015 13:48:56 #
Oct 24, 2015 14:16:52 #
Actually there was a UPS plane crash in Birmingham, AL in August 2013...but those are still funny
Oct 24, 2015 17:07:28 #
Oct 24, 2015 20:41:32 #
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