Murder at Costco
May 12, 2015 18:24:31 #
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol:
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.
The Husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this....)
"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco"
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you.
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.
The Husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this....)
"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco"
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you.
May 12, 2015 18:38:50 #
May 12, 2015 18:41:41 #
This was my father-in-law's favorite joke.
I always enjoyed hearing him tell it, b/c he got so much joy in delivering it (regardless of how bad a pun it is).
I always enjoyed hearing him tell it, b/c he got so much joy in delivering it (regardless of how bad a pun it is).
May 12, 2015 18:49:41 #
RLSeipleSr wrote:
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Thanks for sharing ...
Bob S
Thanks for sharing ...
Bob S
:lol: :lol: You are welcome Bob.
May 12, 2015 18:50:27 #
Allen Hirsch wrote:
This was my father-in-law's favorite joke.
I always enjoyed hearing him tell it, b/c he got so much joy in delivering it (regardless of how bad a pun it is).
I always enjoyed hearing him tell it, b/c he got so much joy in delivering it (regardless of how bad a pun it is).
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
May 12, 2015 19:24:41 #
bcheary wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol: br br br ... (show quote)
Are you running short on material? :roll: I have to admit it's funny. :lol: :lol:
May 12, 2015 21:02:56 #
May 12, 2015 21:33:31 #
pounder35 wrote:
Are you running short on material? :roll: I have to admit it's funny. :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: Hey, don't shoot the messenger. :shock:
May 12, 2015 21:33:43 #
May 12, 2015 21:35:44 #
bcheary wrote:
:lol: :lol: Hey, don't shoot the messenger. :shock:
I can't wait for the responses I get from my contacts I forwarded it to. I predict a lot of "Groans". I still think it was funny. :thumbup: :thumbup:
May 12, 2015 21:36:25 #
pounder35 wrote:
I can't wait for the responses I get from my contacts I forwarded it to. I predict a lot of "Groans". I still think it was funny. :thumbup: :thumbup:
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: So did I. :mrgreen:
May 13, 2015 04:01:21 #
May 13, 2015 06:32:04 #
May 13, 2015 07:00:22 #
May 13, 2015 07:05:15 #
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