Hospital Chart Bloopers
Apr 8, 2015 19:33:33 #
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol:
HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS
Hospital Chart Bloopers
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS
Hospital Chart Bloopers
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Apr 8, 2015 20:03:41 #
Apr 8, 2015 20:14:30 #
Apr 8, 2015 21:24:02 #
Apr 8, 2015 21:24:19 #
Apr 9, 2015 10:37:40 #
bcheary wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol: br br HOSP... (show quote)
My Daughter, a Pediatric Neo-Natal Nurse Practitioner enjoyed those. She said that she could compile a list of better ones than those very easily.
Apr 9, 2015 10:51:41 #
NeilL
Loc: British-born Canadian
Very good. :thumbup: :lol: :lol: My sister was a nurse and she came across some good ones. "The patient had some fruit and Jell-O for lunch, and vomited a trifle in the afternoon." "The patient was administered gelignite (UK dynamite) to relieve his constipation." (Instead of gelatin.)
Apr 9, 2015 10:52:24 #
NeilL
Loc: British-born Canadian
WereWolf1967 wrote:
My Daughter, a Pediatric Neo-Natal Nurse Practitioner enjoyed those. She said that she could compile a list of better ones than those very easily.
Get us some. :thumbup:
Apr 9, 2015 12:03:43 #
Apr 9, 2015 13:17:50 #
Apr 9, 2015 14:21:06 #
bookman
Loc: Southeast Michigan
Gee, I wonder if #21 is a good thing or a bad thing? :roll: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Apr 9, 2015 16:34:57 #
WereWolf1967 wrote:
My Daughter, a Pediatric Neo-Natal Nurse Practitioner enjoyed those. She said that she could compile a list of better ones than those very easily.
:lol: :lol: Get her to write them down and post them.
Apr 9, 2015 16:35:32 #
NeilL wrote:
Very good. :thumbup: :lol: :lol: My sister was a nurse and she came across some good ones. "The patient had some fruit and Jell-O for lunch, and vomited a trifle in the afternoon." "The patient was administered gelignite (UK dynamite) to relieve his constipation." (Instead of gelatin.)
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Apr 9, 2015 16:35:54 #
Apr 9, 2015 17:54:52 #
bcheary wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol: br br HOSP... (show quote)
My doctor friends are going to love these. Thanks bc. :thumbup: :thumbup:
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