Points to ponder.
NeilL
Loc: British-born Canadian
OLD AGE
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!!!
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people" ?
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.
Let me add:
Local gravity variations seem to be increasing. I detect them when I get up off the floor.
I don't have gray hair. It's pewter.
Old age ain't wonderful, but its better than the alternative!
Geofw
Loc: Thornton Cleveleys UK
I can relate to all of them, do you mind if I send it to friends?
NeilL wrote:
OLD AGE
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!!!
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people" ?
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.
OLD AGE br br Of course I talk to myself, some... (
show quote)
I'm not bald,....I'm just 3 inches taller than my hair.
NeilL
Loc: British-born Canadian
Geofw wrote:
I can relate to all of them, do you mind if I send it to friends?
Heavens above. Please make as many people laugh as possible. We all need it. :thumbup: :thumbup: :-D
NeilL
Loc: British-born Canadian
Martys wrote:
I'm not bald,....I'm just 3 inches taller than my hair.
I'm not overweight - just undertall. :D
I'm going to steal all of them and use the as my signatures on my emails. thank you
NeilL
Loc: British-born Canadian
tenbanshee wrote:
I'm going to steal all of them and use the as my signatures on my emails. thank you
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: It's not stealing.
boberic
Loc: Quiet Corner, Connecticut. Ex long Islander
Geofw wrote:
I can relate to all of them, do you mind if I send it to friends?
The joys of getting older ( The rest of the page is blank)
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