Puns for educated minds.
Nov 18, 2014 17:24:23 #
Subject: Fwd: PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS...
1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste o religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, Im sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you cant have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, Ive lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, Im positive.
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Hope that these helped to make your day!
1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste o religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, Im sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you cant have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, Ive lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, Im positive.
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Hope that these helped to make your day!
Nov 18, 2014 17:45:31 #
Awesome love puns and other word exchanges. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :XD: :XD: :XD: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Nov 18, 2014 17:50:45 #
Nov 19, 2014 08:07:28 #
Put a nice smile on my face this morning. Thanks so much for posting them.
Nov 19, 2014 08:46:12 #
Im sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
Oh, goodness! Thanks for bringing a smile to the morning.
Oh, goodness! Thanks for bringing a smile to the morning.
Nov 19, 2014 10:09:45 #
Nov 19, 2014 13:18:12 #
Nov 19, 2014 21:24:54 #
Thank you. I shared with my wife, the math teacher . . . and I'm confident she'll pass them on with a result greater than one in ten.
"Please, sir. I want some more." Oliver
"Please, sir. I want some more." Oliver
Nov 19, 2014 21:27:53 #
mackolb wrote:
Thank you. I shared with my wife, the math teacher . . . and I'm confident she'll pass them on with a result greater than one in ten.
"Please, sir. I want some more." Oliver
"Please, sir. I want some more." Oliver
Be careful what you wish for.
http://www.uglyhedgehog.com/t-183618-1.html
Dec 9, 2014 18:22:17 #
lightcatcher wrote:
Awesome love puns and other word exchanges. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :XD: :XD: :XD: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
So do I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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