Think You or I Can Get Away With This ?
Oct 2, 2014 07:38:28 #
The Gray-Haired Terrorist
Yesterday I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the "Walmartians" is always good for some comic release. Besides I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent this establishment. But, I digress -- enough of my psychological fixations. While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?" "No," I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that cap?"
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought this was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh?" the "Walmartian" queried, "When was that?" God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I answered, as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?" "It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way too much fun!
"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said. "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?" "Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."
"Oh yeah?" he gave me that, 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.
Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.
What a great time I had! Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap. Then the next day I will go to the DMV so I can wear a Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty out the place. Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
Sarge69
Yesterday I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the "Walmartians" is always good for some comic release. Besides I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent this establishment. But, I digress -- enough of my psychological fixations. While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?" "No," I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that cap?"
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought this was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh?" the "Walmartian" queried, "When was that?" God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I answered, as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?" "It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way too much fun!
"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said. "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?" "Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."
"Oh yeah?" he gave me that, 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.
Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.
What a great time I had! Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap. Then the next day I will go to the DMV so I can wear a Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty out the place. Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
Sarge69
Oct 2, 2014 07:46:55 #
usaellie101
Loc: Spring Hill, Florida
This is stand up comedy material....go for it!
I had to laugh when he asked you when War of 1812 took place.... Wal-Mart on the brain. LMAO
I wonder how many folks here are going to put on a cap and try that?
Love to hear the results
I had to laugh when he asked you when War of 1812 took place.... Wal-Mart on the brain. LMAO
I wonder how many folks here are going to put on a cap and try that?
Love to hear the results
Oct 2, 2014 08:02:42 #
That is hilarious! My husband and I both had a great laugh. Good way to start the morning.
Oct 2, 2014 08:08:13 #
Oct 2, 2014 08:11:35 #
sarge69 wrote:
The Gray-Haired Terrorist
Yesterday I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart.
Sarge69
Yesterday I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart.
Sarge69
Here are several thousand pictures of "Walmart Customers." Sorry, but you won't be able to stop till you've seen them all. :D
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
Oct 2, 2014 08:30:31 #
Oct 2, 2014 17:09:26 #
And I know I saw this same thing several weeks ago. But still funny. And unfortunately realistic. During my 34 years of teaching history I had a lot of students who didn't care to know what chapter we were doing, let alone learn what was in it. A month or two later they didn't even remember we had studied the subject. I had students in 10th grade world history and 11th grade US history who didn't remember that they had taken both subjects in elementary and middle school. (California has each subject divided into 3 levels covering different date ranges and different degrees of scholarship. All are required classes.)
Oct 3, 2014 08:40:24 #
OlinBost
Loc: Marietta, Ga.
Love it. I had to copy this and send it to my friends in an email. It will be all over the U.S. by Monday.
Oct 3, 2014 09:43:46 #
Sarge, you crack me up!
ummh... seems like I have a border patrol hat around here somewhere!
ummh... seems like I have a border patrol hat around here somewhere!
Oct 3, 2014 10:02:40 #
Oct 3, 2014 10:13:56 #
Oct 3, 2014 10:51:31 #
I wear my cap all the time. At least once a week, I hear "Thank you for your service". Makes me feel good. Not at all like when I came back and the Berkeley Rejects spit at me.
Oct 3, 2014 11:19:24 #
Audwulf wrote:
I wear my cap all the time. At least once a week, I hear "Thank you for your service". Makes me feel good. Not at all like when I came back and the Berkeley Rejects spit at me.
Yes I was there too, when I came home in 1967, processed at Oakland.
Oct 3, 2014 19:11:04 #
Oct 3, 2014 22:16:12 #
sidney wrote:
Love my WW11 cap.wear it all the time.proud of it too.
As well you should be! :thumbup: :thumbup:
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