Shutterbugsailer Loc: Staten Island NY (AKA Cincinnati by the Sea)

Funerals are indeed a personal thing. If I go, I would like to be placed in my boat (the one seen on my avatar), towed out to sea, and given a "Viking Funeral", photographed and videotaped for all in cyberspace to see

dsmeltz Loc: Philadelphia

I think the sensitive approach is to take the outdoor pictures from a distance and leave the camera in the car for the indoor activities. Outdoors you can be unobtrusive. Indoors I think is just too intrusive. If a family wants indoor pictures, maybe during the period before the viewing reserved for family, and, maybe, after the wake has been underway for a long time. But that is culturally dependant.

Personally, however, I am with you. Just say no.

pjarmit Loc: UK, now in Texas

Some people actually like to take photos at funerals!

JCam Loc: MD Eastern Shore

Consider the subject :thumbdown: , the anointed one, and he's helping hold the camera to make sure he's included--wrong time, wrong place--but everything is about him :evil: . Mrs. O doesn't look too happy--too bad there wasn't a spy drone there to record their next private, probably one sided, conversation.

cherylpeters Loc: Kentucky

I took them at my father's funeral, his sister could not make the funeral and then I mail them to her, and she was very grateful.

JCam Loc: MD Eastern Shore

Verd

Personally, I'd rather remember deceased friends & relatives as they were looking down at the grass, not up a the roots, but in your case I totally understand. I'm glad the photos and visit were able to give you some closure.

Jim

pauleveritt Loc: Erie, Colorado

This is WHY paid photographers and videographers will always be in demand. Uninvolved parties are always the best for such emotional occasions. People don't want to see the photos and videos RIGHT after the event. I did a memorial for 39 year old school teacher and made sure all of the media was GOLD media so that when her 11 year old daughter has a child, she will get to know her grandmother through the media, which I would want to work in 30 years.

This is also why I network. Get a buddy to cover for you and work out a future trade.

Dogman Loc: Michigan

I'm a member of a county honor guard team who performs 150 or so grave side honors a year and occasionally am asked to photograph the folding and flag presentation.

Dogman

sirlensalot Loc: Arizona

As age evolves into the "grey" zone, have been attending more funeral and memorial services. I volunteered to take photos at two of them for friends and received looks I will never forget. I don't ask anymore.
I would probably do it if asked, but for the most part I believe most choose not to think about it in their time of grief which is expected. Photography is generally prohibited at our national cemetary, but I assume it may be permitted at military funerals at private or public cemetary's at the family's request and with their permission of course.
To be honest, I would like very much to photograph a military funeral. I think they are beautiful. Almost their own category of art as a sign of respect for the deceased, but I will never ask.

Dogman Loc: Michigan

I photographed my brother-in-law's service at Arlington a few years ago. My sister asked and I was glad to do so. The only problem was I didn't feel comfortable doing it.

The flag presentation image hangs on a wall in her home dedicated to Larry that includes his medals and pictures of Larry's Military career. Larry was a Army Combat Tracker with three tours in Vietnam. Agent Orange.......

Dogman

LoisCroft Loc: Jonesborough, Tennessee

When I first decided to photograph and video for money, I thought weddings would be the #1 thing. My first job was a funeral! The man died here in Florida, but had several disabled siblings in New Jersey. A video was the best way to allow the rest of the family share in this. The plan was to have the family view the video on a big screen TV near their home.

I stayed after the service to ask people to give a short remembrance for the video and got many heartfelt responses. One man still had the deceased's last voice mail, which we recorded. Of course anyone who was uncomfortable with this was thanked and I moved on. This was a good way to let the family know how much his friends here appreciated him.

A lady asked me to photograph her and her son. Her son had been taken away from her when he was 3 months old and he was just celebrating his 21st birthday. The photos meant the world to her. You never know when an opportunity comes up to do something for someone.

I appreciate anyone's reluctance to do this, it does feel like an intrusion, but if you ever do decide to do it, a little compassion, discretion and good manners can make it a very worthwhile venture.

sirlensalot Loc: Arizona

I can empathize with your conflict. You are brave for getting through it. I may have misspoken regarding term of "national cemetery" but not sure. We have a military cemetery here which I believe is considered national, but certainly not the same as Arlington. Ours has a sign posted that photography is not permitted.
I knew two people who suffered the effects of agent orange, one worse than the other. It is a horrible effect.I am very sorry for your loss. God bless him and those that honored him.

sirlensalot Loc: Arizona

Well spoke and a great presentation. Thank you.

TomballLegend Loc: Tomball, Texas

There is a novelist, Macomber, who writes about a "nurse" who memorializes stillborns with an album---in this 78 year old WASP's mind this seems over the top. But then we had four healthy babies and all of our grand children and, now, so far great grandchildren, have survived. Just throwing this out for opinion. Guess I've already let y'all know how I feel.................C

picsbywayne Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

From a Canon User group that I belong to on LinkedIn, I have learned about a volunteer organization called "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" - www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

They specialize in taking photographs of babies and small children who are either stillborn or pass away early/at a young age. While at first blush it seems rather morbid, it apparently can provide enourmous help for the family to move on past the tragic event without feeling like they have forgotten their child.

All the photographers are strictly volunteer and have to be ready to shoot at a moment's notice. These are quite special folks that I don't believe I would be ready to join.

I do believe that they are offering a service and small comfort to families in what will likely be their greatest time of grief.

Cheers