Hi there, my name is Oscar Swansong and Im very pleased to meet you
I am Head Swan here at the Whitlingham Park Lake
If you care to follow me Ill show you around. I have many responsibilities here, guide, policeman and head of intelligence
Also car park superintendent; have you paid for your ticket?
One of my duties of course is to welcome visitors here
Dont you just love those little toddlers, they are so cute
Its my job to keep an eye on the Paparazzi, do beg your pardon, I mean the journalists and photographers like your good self ha, ha
Of course sometimes the young swans do try and grab the limelight and need to be shown the errors of their ways
As constable and sheriff of the lake I must give chase
Usually a short sharp word and a caution will suffice
I do mostly receive appreciation on these occasions
Of course intelligence is very important in keeping order
Some of my best snitches are the ducks who love to talk
Though they dont want to be seen talking to me and soon run off if anyone approaches. Still, thats ducks for you, always ducking and diving
Keeping an eye on the Graylag goose crèche is very important
Those little goslings are so delightful, but so vulnerable too
Then theres old Gandergoose to keep an eye on, hes not been well lately
Well, its a lovely lake and I hope you enjoyed your visit today
As for me I can see my missus waiting, cant leave the wife on her own too long with all these youngsters about, so Ill leave you to enjoy yourself
Say goodbye to the reporter dear, he says were going to be on the UHH, whatever that is. Ooo, are we really? Goodbye then. Have a nice day.