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Funnies - some a bit blue, careful!
Apr 18, 2013 16:24:20 #
Adult Riddles ~
Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?
A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Q What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?
A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apr 18, 2013 17:16:23 #
Brilliant Bobbyjob. The vasectomy one cracked me up especially cos I've been there...run indeed...I walked (very carefully) down the street for a newspaper three days after my op and my mate pulled up in his car and asked if I had an orange stuck up my A***!! ...that's a true story.
Apr 18, 2013 21:15:27 #
Doddy wrote:
Brilliant Bobbyjob. The vasectomy one cracked me up especially cos I've been there...run indeed...I walked (very carefully) down the street for a newspaper three days after my op and my mate pulled up in his car and asked if I had an orange stuck up my A***!! ...that's a true story.
My father told me that when he got home from having his vasectomy, he found that his cattle had broken a fence and got into an alfalfa field. Since cows can bloat and die from eating green alfalfa, he had no choice but to saddle a horse and chase them out.
I asked him how terrible that was, all he said was "it sure as hell made my underwear bloody" I don't think I'm as tough as the old man.
Apr 18, 2013 21:18:33 #
Apr 18, 2013 21:29:03 #
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