If You Find Yourself In Utah....
....and you're not sure how you got there, be sure to strike back! Take the Crescent Junction exit off I-70, stop at Jackass Joe's World Of Jerky, and get yourself some fresh, tasty, road-kill Alien Jerky! (Jackass Joe sells other kinds of jerky, too --like 'Prime Rib Jerky', 'Antelope & Beaver Jerkey', 'Herky-Jerky' and more--, but none of those will give you quite the same sense of retribution you may feel is deserved after having been cruelly abducted, probed, and left someplace --Utah!!?!! O My Freaking HECK!!!-- you never dreamed you'd find yourself, feeling strangely sore and pleasantly disoriented.)
<edit:> This has NOT been a paid advertisement! I have no connection whatsoever to Joe, jackasses in general, nor am I acquainted with any (living, or alternately, any) road-kilt Aliens. That Joe freely gave me a deep discount on his 'Mild & Spicy UFO Bits Jerky' was merely a matter of him wanting to be friendly.
(If I find myself in Utah,
I'm lost.)
Longshadow wrote:
(If I find myself in Utah,
I'm lost.)
Lost? Probably. But more likely you simply got abducted. Happens all the time, y'know....
Is that new? It's been awhile since I've been to that part of outah, but I don't remember that place. Or I would certainly have stopped! Do they have porcupine jerky??
Makes my mouth water just to hear that. I just might have to find myself in Utah.
Retired CPO wrote:
Is that new? It's been awhile since I've been to that part of outah, but I don't remember that place. Or I would certainly have stopped! Do they have porcupine jerky??
New? Not hardly. Been under the (mildly deranged) auspices of Jackass Joe for years and years. And, 'do they have porcupine jerky??' O Heck Yesssss! Seven flavors thereof. There's Pteredacty Porcupine, there's Hot & Sour Porky-Jerky, there's Sizzlin' Hot Firecupine Jerky, there's Porcupine Mayonnaise Jerky (for the meek of heart, I suppose), there's..... oh, so many other varieties of porcupine jerky fit for discriminating tastes and epicurean palettes. And (I've been told, having never myself tested either the theory or the practice) every last one of them goes down great with a healthy swig outa that pint of Jack Daniels you've got stuffed in your back pocket.
Cany143 wrote:
New? Not hardly. Been under the (mildly deranged) auspices of Jackass Joe for years and years. And, 'do they have porcupine jerky??' O Heck Yesssss! Seven flavors thereof. There's Pteredacty Porcupine, there's Hot & Sour Porky-Jerky, there's Sizzlin' Hot Firecupine Jerky, there's Porcupine Mayonnaise Jerky (for the meek of heart, I suppose), there's..... oh, so many other varieties of porcupine jerky fit for discriminating tastes and epicurean palettes. And (I've been told, having never myself tested either the theory or the practice) every last one of them goes down great with a healthy swig outa that pint of Jack Daniels you've got stuffed in your back pocket.
New? Not hardly. Been under the (mildly deranged... (
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I submit that ANYTHING would go down smoothly with a swig of Jack Daniels, assuming that the Jack Daniels part comes first, last and in the middle too!
Kids...don't think I'm recommending the Porcupine Jerky, of any flavor! It might be smart just to stick with the Jack!!
But Jackass jerky now...
Retired CPO wrote:
Is that new? It's been awhile since I've been to that part of outah, but I don't remember that place. Or I would certainly have stopped! Do they have porcupine jerky??
You have to be looking because it is on the north side of I-70 and the turn towards Arches is to the south.
UTMike wrote:
You have to be looking because it is on the north side of I-70 and the turn towards Arches is to the south.
Now you tell me!!
Thanks, Mike! I'll make it a point to stop next time I'm in the neighborhood! I can't think of a good reason to miss out on Jerky!
Fun story to accompany the picture.
Charley Grimes, Indianapolis
Wow, Day tripping all the way to Crescent Junction. You do live on the edge.
47greyfox
Loc: on the edge of the Colorado front range
UTMike wrote:
You have to be looking because it is on the north side of I-70 and the turn towards Arches is to the south.
Wow! I could’ve pulled off and enjoyed the stop on a whole lot of occasions. I’ve exited I-70 and headed toward Moab and south often without a clue of what lied north. Never again!
47greyfox wrote:
Wow! I could’ve pulled off and enjoyed the stop on a whole lot of occasions. I’ve exited I-70 and headed toward Moab and south often without a clue of what lied north. Never again!
Hah! Coming from Colorado, if you take the Crescent Junction exit it's impossible to miss Jackass Joe's. And as far as other stuff goes that lies a little north of I-70.... it's a whole 'nuther world to investigate.
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