The breeze of the fall
The snap of winter is near
The snow shall soon fly
Not all haikus follow the (Westernly presumed) standard of a line-by-line arrangement of a '5-7-5' syllable count. Other forms follow different syllabic arrangements but stay true to a stated vision of a natural happening or of a momentary actuality in nature.
Rather as your image does.
suggestion: drop the 'The' in each line of your text, then provide the viewer (me) with a larger (downloadable) view that is either more detailed or has been made somehow slightly more abstracted. Do so and you'll have given us (me) a haiku that renders an actuality.
But don't alter that palette.
I also appreciate Haiku. Here is a one, author unknown, for these gray November days we find ourselves in.
"Gray moor, unmarred
By any path
A single branch
A bird - November"
Thank you for sharing your Haiku
Birds on a branch
Fruit within reach
Sun rising
Sun arisen
Very nice.
Charley Grimes, Indianapolis
Retired CPO wrote:
Birds on a branch
Fruit within reach
Sun rising
Sun arisen
Thanks Chief. Was this yours?
RodeoMan wrote:
Thanks Chief. Was this yours?
Mine, took about thirty seconds to put together.
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