Red Skelton's recipe for a perfect marriage.
Sep 6, 2023 18:41:25 #
Going the e-mail rounds.
Who remembers Clem Kadiddlehopper?
“RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So,ll I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So, I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married "Miss Right". I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word or political. It was just clean, simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless"with a big smile on his face.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Skelton
Who remembers Clem Kadiddlehopper?
“RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So,ll I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So, I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married "Miss Right". I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word or political. It was just clean, simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless"with a big smile on his face.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Skelton
Sep 6, 2023 18:44:01 #
Sep 6, 2023 19:05:17 #
Sep 6, 2023 22:07:00 #
Sep 6, 2023 22:10:01 #
OMG I remember him. I read these to my friends were were ROTFLOAO. Thank you for posting.
Sep 7, 2023 00:26:22 #
Sep 7, 2023 00:51:02 #
Sep 7, 2023 07:10:53 #
keywest305
Loc: Baltimore Md.
My dad's favorite to watch besides football. I can remember well these clean shows the whole family can watch. We sure came a long way from the good old days. It's 4 letter words, sex and politics constantly. Gets old.
Sep 7, 2023 07:19:09 #
keywest305 wrote:
Yep! My dad's favorite to watch besides football. I can remember well these clean shows the whole family can watch. We sure came a long way from the good old days. It's 4 letter words, sex and politics constantly. Gets old.
That’s because “4 letter words, and sex is easy comedy” and clean comedy is more difficult.
Not so much politics as audiences are very divided and very easily offended.
Sep 7, 2023 09:26:50 #
Sep 7, 2023 09:27:52 #
I miss the days of "Captain Video and Howdy Doody". I don't watch any of the new garbage on TV. I'm into the Science channels: Discovery, Discovery Plus, History, etc. I don't know how anyone can watch the Housewives of where ever they are, and the rest of the crap that is being produced these days.
Sep 7, 2023 10:11:55 #
Sep 7, 2023 12:11:20 #
Sep 7, 2023 12:11:45 #
JD750 wrote:
OMG I remember him. I read these to my friends were were ROTFLOAO. Thank you for posting.
Sep 7, 2023 12:12:58 #
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