In Honour of Robert Burns Day - Jan. 25
Tae a fart
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
it's like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae god it disnae reek
But a' the efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets arrond the room
Michty me! a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better scurry
Whit the hell, it's no ma worry
A'body roon aboot me choakin'
One or two are nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
It wis him! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare
I'm no that welcome any mair
Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty.
LOL! I think we’ve all been there!
Typical Robert Burns - Good post - Did you know he also wrote the words to Auld Lang Syne?
It should have been heard readout loud (as well!)
Poul.
rmalarz wrote:
Tae a fart
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
it's like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae god it disnae reek
But a' the efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets arrond the room
Michty me! a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better scurry
Whit the hell, it's no ma worry
A'body roon aboot me choakin'
One or two are nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
It wis him! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare
I'm no that welcome any mair
Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty.
Tae a fart br br Oh what a sleekit horrible beast... (
show quote)
1. His desk. 2. A display at the Robert Burns museum near Ayer.
I've been to his house in Dumfries and where his body is entombed in the church yard. I've been to his birth house near the museum in Ayer. I found an ancient nail on the floor in that old house and took it home. I suppose I'm a thief, but he wasn't using it. Very interesting fellow.
TriX
Loc: Raleigh, NC
Thanks for a great laugh Bob, that’s a side of Robert Burns I didn’t know
Ya gotta luv ole Rrrrobie👍
TriX, though written in the style of Robert Burns, I'm pretty sure it wasn't written by him.
--Bob
TriX wrote:
Thanks for a great laugh Bob, that’s a side of Robert Burns I didn’t know
Always enjoy a good Bobbie Burns poem: this one, “to a Mouse,” “To a Louse,” etc.
TriX
Loc: Raleigh, NC
rmalarz wrote:
TriX, though written in the style of Robert Burns, I'm pretty sure it wasn't written by him.
--Bob
I know. The tip off is the use of “sonic boom”. Pretty sure there was not one in his lifetime, hence the smile at the end of my post. Regardless, it is a VERY funny poem - my wife and I chuckled about it for ten minutes - thanks.
BBurns
Loc: South Bay, California
Folks ask why my sense of humour is so weird and demented.
I try to explain that it runs in the family!
That is not a quote of something written by Robert Burns, it was a parody written by Rabbi Burns.
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