Pondering on Deep Thoughts!
Oct 8, 2022 13:29:47 #
...for your consideration...
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place ?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place ?
Oct 8, 2022 14:32:10 #
Oct 8, 2022 14:34:12 #
bobbyjohn wrote:
color=blue ...for your consideration... /color b... (show quote)
These are great thoughts to keep me busy thinking as the phone rings at work. Thanks!!
Here’s another to add to your list. How come a woman can get a period, when it should really be called an exclamation point?
Oct 8, 2022 15:11:28 #
Oct 9, 2022 07:55:34 #
Oct 9, 2022 08:54:28 #
Oct 9, 2022 10:33:45 #
lmTrying
Loc: WV Northern Panhandle
And you have been collecting this set for how long?
Some of the best I've heard.
Good job!
Some of the best I've heard.
Good job!
Oct 9, 2022 11:15:41 #
[from=bobbyjohn]...for your consideration...
Can you cry under water? [Yes. The problem is in the tissues used to wipe the tears.]
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? [As per an on-air commercial, it takes two cents to make a penny.]
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? [The clothes do not transfer. That is why everyone is handed a robe at St. Pete's stand.]
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? [The corners of the pizza could not hold during the spinning experienced during delivery.]
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? [Miniaturizing was the aftermath of the space program. Its the egg vs the hen issue.]
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? [Because the baby next door kept awaking them every two hours.]
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? [Even deaf people make a lot of noise.]
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. [They do not want to keep track of the knickers.]
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? [Something to do with the legs.]
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? [Not every human making toast is decent.]
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? [Not enough flat coconuts.]
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? [No on-sale dinners have an ingredient named Road Runner.]
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? [Just ask any "political" moron.]
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? [-roid and -rhoid is the same?]
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? [The wind does not need to brush teeth.]
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place ? [I'm just a prince from Nigeria.]
Can you cry under water? [Yes. The problem is in the tissues used to wipe the tears.]
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? [As per an on-air commercial, it takes two cents to make a penny.]
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? [The clothes do not transfer. That is why everyone is handed a robe at St. Pete's stand.]
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? [The corners of the pizza could not hold during the spinning experienced during delivery.]
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? [Miniaturizing was the aftermath of the space program. Its the egg vs the hen issue.]
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? [Because the baby next door kept awaking them every two hours.]
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? [Even deaf people make a lot of noise.]
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. [They do not want to keep track of the knickers.]
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? [Something to do with the legs.]
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? [Not every human making toast is decent.]
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? [Not enough flat coconuts.]
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? [No on-sale dinners have an ingredient named Road Runner.]
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? [Just ask any "political" moron.]
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? [-roid and -rhoid is the same?]
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? [The wind does not need to brush teeth.]
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place ? [I'm just a prince from Nigeria.]
Oct 9, 2022 12:05:03 #
Stephan G wrote:
[from=bobbyjohn]...for your consideration...
Can you cry under water? [Yes. The problem is in the tissues used to wipe the tears.]
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? [As per an on-air commercial, it takes two cents to make a penny.]...
Can you cry under water? [Yes. The problem is in the tissues used to wipe the tears.]
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? [As per an on-air commercial, it takes two cents to make a penny.]...
Neat! I never knew that each of these items would have an answer!
Oct 9, 2022 12:40:58 #
bobbyjohn wrote:
Neat! I never knew that each of these items would have an answer!
Actually, some of those statements/questions have been around long before I have. And I have been in situations were I got a slew of other answers. For example, the one for the hearse with a corpse in the HOV lane. Only if the driver isn't dead. Or, was the corpse driving? (**)
I cherry picked from the boxes in my head.
I am a big fan of Allen Funt and his "Smile, You Are on Candid Camera". Also a big fan of Woody Allen amongst others. Henny Youngman, another brilliant mind. Did some Improv in my youth.
(**) They could not be in the HOV lane unless there were three live people. The body in the casket would be considered to be cargo being transported. In many areas, the hearse could not be driven in a HOV lane because it would be considered to be a commercial vehicle, with commercial license.
Oct 9, 2022 16:02:19 #
Oct 9, 2022 20:35:20 #
Oct 10, 2022 07:07:53 #
Pizza is delivered in a square box because square boxes are easier to store or stack than round ones. Any pizza shop that delivers pizza in a bag is doomed for failure. Just MY two cents.
Oct 10, 2022 08:09:02 #
Oct 10, 2022 08:16:16 #
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