WirtzWorld wrote:
I am, however, the world’s foremost fan and expert on the breasts if the female of our species.
I am not sure about the expert part, although it is a great aspiration.
There is doctor named Timothy Burr who wrote a book titled BISBA: Burr Identification System for Breast Analysis. It was published in 1965 and used copies are available online.
Description: No matter how little or much breasts have meant to you before, you've now reached a turning point. Once you have read even a few chapters of BISBA, you can never again have only a detached interest in the myriad variety of breasts you daily encounter. From here on, every one of them will be seen as an open window that lets you peek into the mysteries of its possessor.The book is a fun read. Burr postulates that a woman's breasts and her personality are inseparable, and you can determine her personality from an analysis of her breasts. The relationship is so tight that by changing her personality she can change the characteristics of her breasts. Spoiler: the book is a spoof, which Burr admits, but he states that one of his objectives was to show that science need not be boring.
In Part I of the book he does a very scientific analysis of the breast by defining several characteristics and the range of values for these characteristics. For example, the breast is a bag with stuffing; you can have a large bag with little stuffing, or a small bag with lots of stuffing. Nipples are located geometrically centered, or deviating by the cardinal points of a compass when viewed from the front. When viewed from the side the nipples can be pointing up, straight out, or down.
In Part II Burr describes the personalities of the female as related to the various breast characteristics. As it turns out, the shapeliest and most attractive breasts in terms of size, geometry, positioning, density, feel, etc, belong to the "dumb blonde" (excuse the terminology, but the book was written before political correctness was de rigueur).
Burr also creates a few interesting terms that he defines in a glossary in Part III. For example: gynaecomammology is the study of the female breast. Burr states that in order to be a true student of gynaecomammology you have to be able to answer three questions in the affirmative: 1) you have to have seen a woman's breasts; 2) you have to have felt a woman's breasts; and 3) you have to have had two women side by side so that you can compare the breasts.
I managed to get hold of a copy at a book sale many years ago. It was the best $1 I ever spent on a book!
And I will say that YOU could have provided some very nice images to help illustrate the book, which only has pencil sketches of the wide variety of mammae that he describes.