Landmine Letter
Jun 21, 2021 06:34:59 #
I found this online - not a serious letter - written to a fictional survivor of a landmine incident. Yes, I know that landmines are horrible, and the author of this sarcastic letter does, too.
Keyheed Martial Corporation
Dear Phnom,
This certificate of authenticity confirms that the landmine you stepped on was a genuine Keyheed® landmine. It was assembled by Karen Smith in our Oklahoma City plant.
She has been a conscientious member of our team for more than two decades and during that time she has assembled more than 70,000 precision landmines of exceptionally high-quality. We can only imagine the results her meticulous work has produced. We are so proud of her.
She volunteers in her church and loves God with her whole heart. She has two children, Susie, 9, who loves softball, and Max, 14, who made varsity soccer this year. When not attending her children’s sports, she enjoys a round of golf herself.
She wishes you a long and happy life.
Regards,
Keyheed Management
PS: As a special perk of being a satisfied consumer of our products, we include a coupon that entitles you to a free tour of our landmine plant in Oklahoma City.
Keyheed Martial Corporation
Dear Phnom,
This certificate of authenticity confirms that the landmine you stepped on was a genuine Keyheed® landmine. It was assembled by Karen Smith in our Oklahoma City plant.
She has been a conscientious member of our team for more than two decades and during that time she has assembled more than 70,000 precision landmines of exceptionally high-quality. We can only imagine the results her meticulous work has produced. We are so proud of her.
She volunteers in her church and loves God with her whole heart. She has two children, Susie, 9, who loves softball, and Max, 14, who made varsity soccer this year. When not attending her children’s sports, she enjoys a round of golf herself.
She wishes you a long and happy life.
Regards,
Keyheed Management
PS: As a special perk of being a satisfied consumer of our products, we include a coupon that entitles you to a free tour of our landmine plant in Oklahoma City.
Jun 21, 2021 07:03:03 #
Jun 21, 2021 09:49:34 #
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