I thought these were clever and funny.

Enjoy,
Mark

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR SHOP IN VANCOUVER READS:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
“Blind man driving.”

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist's Office:
"Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”

On a Plumber's Truck :
"We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber's Truck :
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician's Truck :
"Let us remove your shorts”

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and
will take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door :
"Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car Dealership :
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming”

In a Veterinarian's waiting room :
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.”

And the best one for last …
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”

I thought these were clever and funny.

Enjoy,
Mark

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR SHOP IN VANCOUVER READS:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
“Blind man driving.”

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist's Office:
"Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”

On a Plumber's Truck :
"We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber's Truck :
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician's Truck :
"Let us remove your shorts”

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and
will take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door :
"Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car Dealership :
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming”

In a Veterinarian's waiting room :
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.”

And the best one for last …
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”

A novice - nun in training - waa preparing for her bath. Just after disrobing, she hears the Mother superior knocking on the door.

Noviate: Who is it?
Mother: It's me. Mother Superior.
Noviate: I can't open the door right now. I just undressed for my bath.
Mother: A blind man is here and he can't wait.
Noviate, thinking it's okay since he's a blind man, opens the door to let him in.
In he walks, saying, "nice boobs. Where'd you want the blinds."

Praise the lord.