A few funnies
Jul 21, 2020 10:08:32 #
Historians in Ireland have discovered what they believe to be the headstone of the world's oldest man. He was 193 and his name was Miles from Dublin.
How to warn someone not to hit their head:
1. Wait until they hit their head.
2. Say "Ooh careful"
As I grow older I reflect on my life, the folks I've known, the places I've been, and all the people lost along the way - and I sometimes think that being a tour guide wasn't for me.
Have you ever noticed that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointing away from Earth.
My mother used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Lovely woman; terrible surgeon.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose clothing......
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up to begin with.
I've been saying "mucho" to my Spanish friend a lot more often lately. It means a lot to him.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Best.... Phil
How to warn someone not to hit their head:
1. Wait until they hit their head.
2. Say "Ooh careful"
As I grow older I reflect on my life, the folks I've known, the places I've been, and all the people lost along the way - and I sometimes think that being a tour guide wasn't for me.
Have you ever noticed that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointing away from Earth.
My mother used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Lovely woman; terrible surgeon.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose clothing......
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up to begin with.
I've been saying "mucho" to my Spanish friend a lot more often lately. It means a lot to him.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Best.... Phil
Jul 21, 2020 10:23:47 #
philmurfin wrote:
Historians in Ireland have discovered what they be... (show quote)
Thanks Phil, humor is the best antidote for times like these. I don't think you'll mind if I repost these on my Facebook page to oppose some of the complaining and politicizing that has dominated recently.
A friend was recently told by his doctor he needed to exercise more and to try walking a few miles a day. Last postcard we got was from Arizona.
Jul 21, 2020 10:36:10 #
griffzky wrote:
Thanks Phil, humor is the best antidote for times like these. I don't think you'll mind if I repost these on my Facebook page to oppose some of the complaining and politicizing that has dominated recently.
A friend was recently told by his doctor he needed to exercise more and to try walking a few miles a day. Last postcard we got was from Arizona.
A friend was recently told by his doctor he needed to exercise more and to try walking a few miles a day. Last postcard we got was from Arizona.
Please feel free to forward as much as you like, fun is for sharing!
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Jul 22, 2020 07:02:33 #
Love this set, most were new to me. Already shared them. Thanks for posting this.
Jul 22, 2020 07:26:24 #
Besides Phil, we get our British humor on BritBox - currently watching episodes of “Would I Lie to You” but the other attraction is all those mystery shows.
Jul 22, 2020 07:47:03 #
All funny. I’m a big fan of dry humor, so the your tour guide offering is my winner.
Jul 22, 2020 08:02:25 #
This one : My mother used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Lovely woman; terrible surgeon. Reminded me a lot of one of my favorites (from Demetri Martin): "Separate but equal" is a terrible education policy, but great eyebrow policy.
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Jul 22, 2020 10:21:41 #
philmurfin wrote:
Historians in Ireland have discovered what they be... (show quote)
Great set! "Miles" and "Intelligent Life" are my favorites.
Jul 22, 2020 10:50:35 #
In a previous career, I’ve spent a lot of time standing in or beside highways. People would routinely stop and ask for directions. In an effort to keep the traffic moving, I would tell them “Go straight ahead, then turn left at the Dairy Queen.” I’ve often wondered whatever happened to those folks.
Jul 22, 2020 11:14:22 #
Jul 22, 2020 15:17:47 #
Great Jokes, Phil.
I especially like the one about exercise & loose clothing.
Reminds me of an old Groucho Marx joke.
Groucho: "Can you tell me where I can find the nearest chiropractor?
Receptionist: "Certainly, walk this way."
Groucho: If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need a chiropractor." :)
I especially like the one about exercise & loose clothing.
Reminds me of an old Groucho Marx joke.
Groucho: "Can you tell me where I can find the nearest chiropractor?
Receptionist: "Certainly, walk this way."
Groucho: If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need a chiropractor." :)
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Jul 22, 2020 16:41:44 #
Jul 23, 2020 07:55:00 #
Paul Diamond
Loc: Atlanta, GA, USA
Really felt the need to laugh after hearing today's news. Thanks for sharing moments of 'attitude adjustment'.
Jul 23, 2020 17:18:35 #
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