Announcement from the BBC: Sent to me from a friend: Dennis From the BBC – by John Cleese -- March 17, 2020 ANNOUNCEMENT The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus...

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

Sent to me from a friend:

Dennis

From the BBC – by John Cleese -- March 17, 2020
ANNOUNCEMENT

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

The Russians have said “It’s not us.”

Muddyvalley Loc: McMinnville, Oregon

I laughed out loud!!!! John Cleese is the greatest!

pesfls Loc: Oregon, USA

Now that’s a laugh and a half. Thanks

sakitson Loc: Goleta, CA

Way to keep our smiles engaged (and loud hooting noises) during this time of introspection!

DaveO Loc: Northeast CT

Bob Mevis Loc: Plymouth, Indiana

Love it.

yssirk123 Loc: New Jersey

Cleese is just the best - thanks for posting!

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

Wicker Loc: Montreal MILE END

YES Cleese is GREAT!
The words are not CLEESE'S
SNOOPS claimsnot mine.
It takes nothing away from
this fantastic bit comic outlook.
I laughed good and hard.
Laughter is the best medicine.
Thaks for a large spoonfull.

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

Thanks everyone. I didn't check as to who wrote it but posted it as I received it.

Dennis

PaulBrit Loc: Merlin, Southern Oregon

Muddyvalley wrote:

I laughed out loud!!!! John Cleese is the greatest!

Same here! Agree that John Cleese is very funny!

wds0410 Loc: Nunya

dennis2146 wrote:

Sent to me from a friend:

Dennis

From the BBC – by John Cleese -- March 17, 2020
ANNOUNCEMENT

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

The Russians have said “It’s not us.”

Sent to me from a friend: br br Dennis br br Fro... (show quote)

Finally something actually funny on this site.

Cykdelic Loc: Now outside of Chiraq & Santa Fe, NM

dennis2146 wrote:

Sent to me from a friend:

Dennis

From the BBC – by John Cleese -- March 17, 2020
ANNOUNCEMENT

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

The Russians have said “It’s not us.”

Sent to me from a friend: br br Dennis br br Fro... (show quote)

THANKS!

We needed that!😎

BurghByrd Loc: Pittsburgh

Thanks so much, we really needed a good laugh. Not exactly politically correct but I don't think that kind of censoring was good for us anyway. Loved it.

sippyjug104 Loc: Missouri

Thanks for the chuckles. Perhaps at times like this we should all remember, "God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

There is far too much unhealthy stress caused by the things that we, as individuals, have no ability to change. It is far more mentally healthier to focus on doing and changing what we can when we can.

Worry and anger are far more debilitating than this virus ever could be and the odds of getting it based on the number of cases and the total population are truly quite small.