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Golf joke
Mar 23, 2020 10:22:11 #
allan catt
Loc: gillingham,kent,uk
An American goes to a club in Ireland and says I need to play your best player,the secretary says that will be Murphy I will give you his phone number,he phones Murphy and Murphy says I will be there at 9:00 am but I could be half an hour late ,Murphy turns up at 9:00 and he has a left handed set of clubs,they tee off and Murphy wins ,the American says we must have a rematch tomorrow ,Murphy says I will be here at 9:00 but I could be Half an hour late ,Murphy turns up at nine with a set of Right handed clubs,they tee off and Murphy wins again,the American says we must play again tomorrow ,what time will you be here,and what clubs will you be using ,Murphy says well it’s like this,when I wake up in the morning I look to see what side the wife is laying on ,the left side I use left handed clubs ,the right side I use right handed clubs,What if she is on here back the American says,well that’s when I will be Half an hour late says Murphy.
Mar 23, 2020 10:25:46 #
I haven't told this one in a long time!
Two men are out playing golf on a Sunday morning and are on the green getting ready. Along drives a hearse and the line of cars behind it. One of the golfer takes off his hat as the cars pass by. The other golfer says "that was a nice gesture". To that the first golfer replies, 'it's the least I can do, we have been married for 40 years!"
Two men are out playing golf on a Sunday morning and are on the green getting ready. Along drives a hearse and the line of cars behind it. One of the golfer takes off his hat as the cars pass by. The other golfer says "that was a nice gesture". To that the first golfer replies, 'it's the least I can do, we have been married for 40 years!"
Mar 23, 2020 11:26:10 #
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Mar 23, 2020 13:16:19 #
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Mar 24, 2020 11:41:10 #
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Mar 24, 2020 11:42:14 #
A priest and his assistant or ready to tee off when this guy comes up, may I join you gentlemen. The priest tells the golfer to play thru because they are not very good golfers and they would only slow his game. The golfer response that he doesn’t mine. They tee off and on the third hole the golfer tells the priest if he would like to wager a bet to make the game more fun and interesting. The priest saids no since they are not very good but the golfer insist. After the 18 holes of golf the priest is 15.00 dollars short so he open his pouch of money and starts to pay the guy. The golfer laughs and tells the priest he can’t take his money, why saids the priest, cause I am the golf Pro here and I am just having some fun with you all. No saids the priest, you won it fair square. No I can not take your money, the priest looks at him, I tell you what next time you come to church put that amount in the donation box....and bring your father and mother and I will marry them.
Mar 24, 2020 17:36:19 #
Two guys are playing a round on a really cold, nasty, rainy, windy day. One slices his shot into the nearby woods. They go in to look for the ball and spot two guys on a creekbank fishing. One golfer looks at the other and says, - - - now wait for it . . . “Only fools and fishermen would be out here on a day like this.”
Mar 24, 2020 22:25:05 #
A wife and her husband were playing golf one afternoon. He hits his drive off course, near the pump house. When he gets ready to play around the pump house, he comes up with a brilliant idea. He told his wife, "if I open the front door and the back door to the pump house and drive the ball through, I can save a couple of strokes". So he tees off, misses the door and hits the side of the house. Well, the ball bounces back, hits his wife in the head, killing her instantly.
The next week, the widower husband is out with his buddy playing golf. His buddy hits the ball into the same rough near the pump house and whadda ya know, he comes up with the same idea of driving through the pump house. But the widower hollars, "NO! don't try that...last week I tried it and ended up shooting a 12"
The next week, the widower husband is out with his buddy playing golf. His buddy hits the ball into the same rough near the pump house and whadda ya know, he comes up with the same idea of driving through the pump house. But the widower hollars, "NO! don't try that...last week I tried it and ended up shooting a 12"
Mar 25, 2020 01:24:46 #
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