Paid Mourners Weep As Bloomberg Exits Primary
Mar 5, 2020 14:21:20 #
NEW YORK, NY—Moments after Mike Bloomberg announced he was suspending his campaign, the Bloomberg campaign office was filled with inconsolable mourners, who were compensated handsomely.
"No, Mike, don't drop out -- please!" screamed one woman as she sobbed uncontrollably for the nice sum of $2,500. "We need you! America needs you! We love you, Mike!"
One mourner was seen rolling around on the ground screaming. Another was quieter and more reflective, as he was only paid $50. A high-ranking campaign staffer was reportedly paid over $50,000 to commit seppuku to restore honor to his name after failing the great Mike Bloomberg.
To end the memorial for his campaign, Bloomberg pulled out the world's tiniest violin and played a somber tune, though it was just a normal-sized violin in comparison with him (because he is small).
"Now that I'm done, I guess I'll go to Disneyland," Bloomberg joked, although he probably won't have much fun at Disneyland since he cannot ride most of the attractions (again, the height thing).
https://babylonbee.com/news/paid-mourners-weep-as-bloomberg-exits-primary
"No, Mike, don't drop out -- please!" screamed one woman as she sobbed uncontrollably for the nice sum of $2,500. "We need you! America needs you! We love you, Mike!"
One mourner was seen rolling around on the ground screaming. Another was quieter and more reflective, as he was only paid $50. A high-ranking campaign staffer was reportedly paid over $50,000 to commit seppuku to restore honor to his name after failing the great Mike Bloomberg.
To end the memorial for his campaign, Bloomberg pulled out the world's tiniest violin and played a somber tune, though it was just a normal-sized violin in comparison with him (because he is small).
"Now that I'm done, I guess I'll go to Disneyland," Bloomberg joked, although he probably won't have much fun at Disneyland since he cannot ride most of the attractions (again, the height thing).
https://babylonbee.com/news/paid-mourners-weep-as-bloomberg-exits-primary
Mar 5, 2020 14:35:01 #
Mar 5, 2020 14:43:30 #
Mar 5, 2020 16:46:57 #
Mar 5, 2020 16:48:42 #
Mar 5, 2020 17:26:58 #
Mar 5, 2020 18:01:22 #
Mar 5, 2020 18:05:45 #
WNYShooter wrote:
What a dope, dummy actually had to go look it up for bias. 
Now that's a real troll................
At least Krak and Frim put some thought behind their annoyances.
Mar 5, 2020 20:49:04 #
Steelecrique wrote:
https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/babylon-bee/
Satire
Satire
You had to go to mediabiasfactcheck.com for the babylon bee? AAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now THAT's funny!!!
Mar 5, 2020 20:50:56 #
drainbamage wrote:
You had to go to mediabiasfactcheck.com for the babylon bee? AAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now THAT's funny!!!
Him doing that was as funny as the article.
Mar 5, 2020 23:51:45 #
Steelecrique wrote:
https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/babylon-bee/
Satire
Satire
https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/steelecrique/
Stupid
Mar 6, 2020 09:27:06 #
Steelecrique wrote:
https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/babylon-bee/
Satire
Satire
Mar 6, 2020 11:11:48 #
WNYShooter wrote:
NEW YORK, NY—Moments after Mike Bloomberg announce... (show quote)
My favorite analysis of Bloomberg is that for the 600 million he spent, earning electors only from American Samoa, Bloomberg could have PURCHASED Samoa.
Mar 6, 2020 11:37:06 #
Tex-s wrote:
My favorite analysis of Bloomberg is that for the 600 million he spent, earning electors only from American Samoa, Bloomberg could have PURCHASED Samoa.
!!!
Mar 6, 2020 11:42:09 #
Alafoto
Loc: Montgomery, AL
tradio wrote:
When Bernie gets elected, the mourners will be free.
Everything will be free. Weeeee
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