Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.

I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems. The first thing the bastard did was made me pay in advance.
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I ran into my ex in town yesterday. Then I ran over him and backed up to run into him again.
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I don’t think women should be allowed to have kids after 40. 40 kids is way too much by any standard.
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What is written on a dentist’s grave?

He’s filling his last cavity.
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Losing a wife can be very tough. Some may even say impossible.
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What is sticky and brown?

A stick!
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Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. “I’ll have to cross the road,” says one.

“Well, be careful,” says the other one, “there’s a bus coming in an hour.“
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What is pointless?

To tell a bald guy a hair-raising story.
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Why do bees hum?

They don't remember the text!
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What do you call a bull that likes taking a nap?

A bulldozer!
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What do you call a vegan with diarrhea?

A smoothie maker.
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Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man within 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, I also lost my job at the local swimming pool.
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What is white and flies up?

A retarded snowflake
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Cheers and Beers
Graham
098

d2b2 Loc: Catonsville, Maryland, USA

lbrande

😁😁😁

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

Fotoartist Loc: Detroit, Michigan

Again, really good stuff. I don't get the last one though. Flys or flies? I'm a little retarded I guess.

sheebe Loc: Lake Isabella, CA

I always laugh at you're jokes. This is to funny.

Thank you for giving me a lot of laughs.

aggiedad Loc: Corona, ca

Why do bees buzz? You would too if someone stole your honey and nectar.

BBurns Loc: South Bay, California

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A Salad Shooter.

What do you call a Nun in a Blender?
Twisted Sister.

papaluv4gd Loc: durham,ct

what do you call a swimmer without any arms or legs? bob

BBurns Loc: South Bay, California

Now you have opened a whole new barrel?
What to you call a man with no arms or legs going over the fence at a baseball stadium?

Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.

Bill, my friend I am going to have to say, as we don't play baseball, over here. I haven't got a clue for an answer to your question................Pray tell me...

I hope all is well with you and yours........

Cheers and Beers
Graham
098

BBurns Loc: South Bay, California

It's Bob. Answer is Homer.

What to you call a kid with no arms or legs lying in front of a door?
Matt

What to you call a kid with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?
Art

What to you call a kid man with no arms or legs playing in a pile of leaves?
Russell

What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.

What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?
Sparky.

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?
Irene.

Yes, I'm demented. Enjoy

Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.

Cheers "BOB" If you had no arms or legs and you went to the Swimming Pool they would still call you Bob even if they didn't know you.

Thanks for your funnies, Cheers and Beers, Graham 098

BBurns Loc: South Bay, California

You Just can't get Good Help Anymore

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site to move a huge pile of sand that the foreman points out.

He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave the job site for a couple of hours. When I get back I expect you guys to have made a good size dent in that pile."

So the foreman leaves but when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to da Chinese afella that he a wasa in a charge of a da supplies but he hasa disappear and I no coulda finda him a nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, so ye did Lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies boot ah couldnay fin' him either."

The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells,

"SUPPLIES!!"

papaluv4gd Loc: durham,ct

Graham, I don't know if you have a fertile mind, or an inquisitive mind, or if your even in your right mind. Where do you come up with all these things? You gotta have too much time on your hands. You need a hobby, say......photography?