Things to make ya smile.
Nov 26, 2012 21:31:41 #
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems.
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.
My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk & never come back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said,"Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."
Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road.
The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know dis face but I can't put a name to it."
The second picks it up & says, "You daft bastard it's me!"
Paddy's in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and see's him hanging by his feet.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies.
"It should be round your neck," says the guard.
"I tried that," says Paddy, "but I couldn't breathe."
Two Irishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house.
Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you throwing them away?"
"Because they're upside down," says Paddy.
"You daft prat," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!"
Apologies to the irish.
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.
My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk & never come back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said,"Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."
Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road.
The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know dis face but I can't put a name to it."
The second picks it up & says, "You daft bastard it's me!"
Paddy's in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and see's him hanging by his feet.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies.
"It should be round your neck," says the guard.
"I tried that," says Paddy, "but I couldn't breathe."
Two Irishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house.
Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you throwing them away?"
"Because they're upside down," says Paddy.
"You daft prat," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!"
Apologies to the irish.
Nov 26, 2012 21:45:11 #
These are funny...hope you don't mind, I've been putting them on my Facebook page, friends seem to like them too!
Thanks!
Thanks!
Nov 26, 2012 22:00:53 #
Nov 27, 2012 10:42:07 #
Nov 27, 2012 12:15:44 #
Nov 27, 2012 12:47:08 #
Oh how lovely. Anti-Irish AND anti-women jokes in the same posting. Sorry, didn't raise the hint of a smile here, but then I'm obviously one of those humourless liberal types. Mind you, insert "American right-winger" for "Irish" and I'm splitting my sides!
Nov 27, 2012 13:30:15 #
Hi Baza :thumbup: Please come out of hiding m8, Im dying to know where to put the blame :D
Nov 27, 2012 13:32:45 #
Nov 27, 2012 13:36:41 #
Nov 28, 2012 02:21:56 #
Nov 28, 2012 08:53:27 #
dixiemegapixel
Loc: Salemburg, NC
Bazamac wrote:
Oh how lovely. Anti-Irish AND anti-women jokes in the same posting. Sorry, didn't raise the hint of a smile here, but then I'm obviously one of those humourless liberal types. Mind you, insert "American right-winger" for "Irish" and I'm splitting my sides!
Did you read the joke about the Liberal Irish woman? There's nothing humorous about it.
Nov 28, 2012 09:04:09 #
I've met quite a few liberal (small l please!) Irish women in my time. Great sense of humour, all of them!
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