dpullum Loc: Tampa Florida

WITH REGRET SANTA WILL BE ABSENT THIS YEAR

It is with regret that after filing a "Freedom of Information" request, I have received bad news regarding Santa's whereabouts.

In the past few years, Santa has become increasingly despondent. In the past, Santa was the beloved carrier of Christmas gifts. Yes, the US Postal did some, and he tolerated that, but then Jeff Bezos started Amazon. Children dreamed of what Amazon would bring by Christmas Eve. Santa's usefulness faded, and then came to the scene, Low-Cost TEMU; it appears, TEMU was the last straw. The sleigh returned empty after Christmas 2022, lead by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Rudolph's red nose was flashing indicating an emergency. With Dear Santa's self-esteem at rock bottom, he was either careless or suicidal. A search was launched by the DOD and FAA. The insurance claims suicide and refuses to pay. An anonymous X-President collaborating with "The Grinch" has requested that contributions be channeled through him.

It took a great effort by the Department of Defense with the aid of special instruments launched by SpaceX to scan the icy terrain and find what they confirmed to be Santa's remains. From the color of the ice covering Santa, it appears that he did not suffer. The DOD Coroner's report noted that he was "et ut fatum meum Caputm;" the search for his head will continue. Santa's remains will be left entombed in the ice; Congress refuses to allocate monies to exhume Santa and blames the present administration.

Gone, But not Forgotten – Acts 8:35-40

Satellite imagery, Santa in Ice Courticy of SpaceX

(Download)

cahale Loc: San Angelo, TX

Who?

dpullum Loc: Tampa Florida

The late great Santa was known by all, but not this generation of children... FedX and Amazon Truck deliver, not Santa.

docshark Loc: Millersville, PA

I enjoyed that Don. Merry Christmas!
>i< Doc

dpullum Loc: Tampa Florida

The message is a bit of dark humor... and a bit a comment on our present society. Below is an explanation I made in the photo art section.

-------------------- from the photo art section --------------------------

I did one for the Camera Club years ago... Santa was clearer, but my color laser printer is Caput... the inkjet ink spread with water and gave the blood effect. It dawned on me this AM that a decade ago, I used boiled water which makes clear ice and crystalline patterns when added in a thin layer.

"Don, you’ve just wrecked Christmas for all your DA buddies," Images are not always meant to soothe, the message is clear in the text, the magic of Christmas has faded... with a good economy, online sales, and fast delivery Christmas is all year round. We no longer get a Sears Toy Catalogue... a dream book when I was young and toys, oranges, and nuts were at Christmas time. Christmas trees were real trees, not plastic, and did not fold up for storage in the attic. The smell came from the pine needles, not from a spray bottle.

Christmas was a warm time, and Christ was part of the theme in the small Southern Baptist town in Michigan near Flint. In today's world Christ, as a savior, has been replaced by a fat red politician for 35% of the people in the USA, ask an Evangelical~!!!

So the message is clear, the image is not just Santa it is the way of life associated with Santa. I did not "wrecked Christmas for all your DA buddies" nor did put Sears or Toy Are Us out of business.

My daughter at about 5, was in confused tears when I dressed in my wonderful Santa costume and told her that I was Santa... "your my daddy your not Santa." I explained to her that Santa was the wonderful pretend of Christmas and she would take me to the neighbor's house to give little toys to them and say I forgot to leave them last night. She was thrilled. I was Santa for 10 years going to an Ol Folks home with little gifts for all, they were thrilled to have Santa visit... pretend was and is fun. My wife and daughter were Santa's helpers in costume.

In Richmond Virginia, I was part of a Clown Group... Volunteer entertainment. Phillip Morris Tobacco Research Center needed a Santa... one of the interview questions... Do you feel sick riding in helicopters, this requires three performances arriving and leaving in a copter. "No, I have never felt air sick in a copter.".... I had never been in one. It was a memorable experience... we all pretended... and I even blessed children held in mom's arms... amazing, thrilling. After the last performance, I changed into my regular people clothing and went up to enjoy refreshments, I felt like a ghost... unseen, unnoticed... invisible.

Santa has been important in my life as a child and as an adult pretending to be Santa... Regarding Santa's death, he would say as Mark Twain said in 1897, having read his obituary, “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” Likewise, for many, including me, Santa is not dead.

nervous2 Loc: Provo, Utah

Very sad.