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Vanity in some of my subjects
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Dec 18, 2023 18:04:32   #
Ellen101 Loc: Manhattan NY ..now Spring Hill, Fl
 
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. I often run into what I think might be a good shot. I always ask permision to take someone's picture.
Here is what I am now dealing with: Recenty two older women ( ages 81 ans 92) asked me to take their photos for a project they were doing. I replied "Sure", They came to my home where i have some plain background set ups.
The shoot went well. They wanted themselves in a very close up pose cheek to cheek.
One of them came with me to get it printed. She was very happy with way it prints came out. She framed it herself and put it on display at our City Hall Art Gallery. The other lady is now very angry with me for making her look old.
She is 92 and does have some lines on her face. Now she is ending our friendship,
I did tell these women that I do not do much photo shop stuff except cropping. The 81 year old is OK with the photo.
What can I do ?
we know most people are NOT satisfied with the way they look in photos.

Reply
Dec 18, 2023 18:53:05   #
PAR4DCR Loc: A Sunny Place
 
Offer to take another photo of her??? Or tell her it is what it is.

Don

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Dec 18, 2023 20:36:32   #
luvmypets Loc: Born & raised Texan living in Fayetteville NC
 
I would suggest talking to the 92 year old and asking if she wants the same photo touched up a little. Next ask someone here on UHH if they will help and do some work to make the photo more acceptable to her. Ask her what features/wrinkles she would like worked on and how much. There may just be a couple of areas that could use a little help to not be so prominent.

There are some excellent people on this forum that do beautiful pp work and I'm sure someone would be willing to help. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people or I would volunteer.

Best of luck! I hope you can bring her happiness and not lose the friendship.

Dodie

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Dec 18, 2023 20:39:20   #
Architect1776 Loc: In my mind
 
Ellen101 wrote:
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. I often run into what I think might be a good shot. I always ask permision to take someone's picture.
Here is what I am now dealing with: Recenty two older women ( ages 81 ans 92) asked me to take their photos for a project they were doing. I replied "Sure", They came to my home where i have some plain background set ups.
The shoot went well. They wanted themselves in a very close up pose cheek to cheek.
One of them came with me to get it printed. She was very happy with way it prints came out. She framed it herself and put it on display at our City Hall Art Gallery. The other lady is now very angry with me for making her look old.
She is 92 and does have some lines on her face. Now she is ending our friendship,
I did tell these women that I do not do much photo shop stuff except cropping. The 81 year old is OK with the photo.
What can I do ?
we know most people are NOT satisfied with the way they look in photos.
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. ... (show quote)


Have her look into a mirror.

Reply
Dec 18, 2023 21:59:20   #
Boris77
 
Ellen101 wrote:
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. I often run into what I think might be a good shot. I always ask permision to take someone's picture.
Here is what I am now dealing with: Recenty two older women ( ages 81 ans 92) asked me to take their photos for a project they were doing. I replied "Sure", They came to my home where i have some plain background set ups.
The shoot went well. They wanted themselves in a very close up pose cheek to cheek.
One of them came with me to get it printed. She was very happy with way it prints came out. She framed it herself and put it on display at our City Hall Art Gallery. The other lady is now very angry with me for making her look old.
She is 92 and does have some lines on her face. Now she is ending our friendship,
I did tell these women that I do not do much photo shop stuff except cropping. The 81 year old is OK with the photo.
What can I do ?
we know most people are NOT satisfied with the way they look in photos.
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. ... (show quote)


Sneak up behind her and shout "Boo". or
Tell her that she is lucky to be old. or
Ignore the situation if you have satisfied one of the subjects.
I often photograph older people for public display. I dispose of the bad shots and offer the subjects a choice of the better expressions. I retouch lightly.
Old is not a subject of any conversation started by me.
Boris

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Dec 18, 2023 23:09:33   #
larryepage Loc: North Texas area
 
Ellen101 wrote:
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. I often run into what I think might be a good shot. I always ask permision to take someone's picture.
Here is what I am now dealing with: Recenty two older women ( ages 81 ans 92) asked me to take their photos for a project they were doing. I replied "Sure", They came to my home where i have some plain background set ups.
The shoot went well. They wanted themselves in a very close up pose cheek to cheek.
One of them came with me to get it printed. She was very happy with way it prints came out. She framed it herself and put it on display at our City Hall Art Gallery. The other lady is now very angry with me for making her look old.
She is 92 and does have some lines on her face. Now she is ending our friendship,
I did tell these women that I do not do much photo shop stuff except cropping. The 81 year old is OK with the photo.
What can I do ?
we know most people are NOT satisfied with the way they look in photos.
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. ... (show quote)


I have a few years of experience dealing with older parents and inlaws, and it sounds to me like you have experienced nothing beyond a typical 92 year old person being 92 years old. My suggestion is to just let this go with a simple apology to the lady. I don't believe that there is any malice here. Nor is there anything to be gained. It was just an experiment...an effort on your part to provide a favor...that didn't work out.

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Dec 19, 2023 02:58:26   #
Ellen101 Loc: Manhattan NY ..now Spring Hill, Fl
 
I was upset that first she acused me of taking a "bad" "ugly" photo of her. She has not let me even speak to her.
I am 76 and have a few lines on my face...so what ...a part of being human. I am going to try to let this go i not history.
I thank everyone here for their support.

Reply
 
 
Dec 19, 2023 05:10:58   #
cmc4214 Loc: S.W. Pennsylvania
 
Architect1776 wrote:
Have her look into a mirror.



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Dec 19, 2023 05:13:04   #
cmc4214 Loc: S.W. Pennsylvania
 
Ellen101 wrote:
I was upset that first she acused me of taking a "bad" "ugly" photo of her. She has not let me even speak to her.
I am 76 and have a few lines on my face...so what ...a part of being human. I am going to try to let this go i not history.
I thank everyone here for their support.


If she ended your friendship over a photo... Was she really a friend?

Reply
Dec 19, 2023 05:42:53   #
ELNikkor
 
At 92, if she wants to narrow her friend base, totally up to her. Have to have a thick skin. By now, you've seen about everything, and still have many friends. Just move on and be pleasant to all, continue spread the joy.

Reply
Dec 19, 2023 06:51:56   #
Ollieboy
 
Ellen101 wrote:
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. I often run into what I think might be a good shot. I always ask permision to take someone's picture.
Here is what I am now dealing with: Recenty two older women ( ages 81 ans 92) asked me to take their photos for a project they were doing. I replied "Sure", They came to my home where i have some plain background set ups.
The shoot went well. They wanted themselves in a very close up pose cheek to cheek.
One of them came with me to get it printed. She was very happy with way it prints came out. She framed it herself and put it on display at our City Hall Art Gallery. The other lady is now very angry with me for making her look old.
She is 92 and does have some lines on her face. Now she is ending our friendship,
I did tell these women that I do not do much photo shop stuff except cropping. The 81 year old is OK with the photo.
What can I do ?
we know most people are NOT satisfied with the way they look in photos.
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. ... (show quote)

I would explain how aging works as far as wrinkles go.

Reply
 
 
Dec 19, 2023 07:14:03   #
Manglesphoto Loc: 70 miles south of St.Louis
 
Ellen101 wrote:
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. I often run into what I think might be a good shot. I always ask permision to take someone's picture.
Here is what I am now dealing with: Recenty two older women ( ages 81 ans 92) asked me to take their photos for a project they were doing. I replied "Sure", They came to my home where i have some plain background set ups.
The shoot went well. They wanted themselves in a very close up pose cheek to cheek.
One of them came with me to get it printed. She was very happy with way it prints came out. She framed it herself and put it on display at our City Hall Art Gallery. The other lady is now very angry with me for making her look old.
She is 92 and does have some lines on her face. Now she is ending our friendship,
I did tell these women that I do not do much photo shop stuff except cropping. The 81 year old is OK with the photo.
What can I do ?
we know most people are NOT satisfied with the way they look in photos.
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. ... (show quote)

One of the joys of working with people, I have an idea that there is no way she will be happy as long as the photographs show her true age.
I used to use a hard light that raked across the subjects face and diminished the wrinkles, it was a trial and error process but it did work for me, will it work with two people? I don't know.

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Dec 19, 2023 07:18:06   #
Manglesphoto Loc: 70 miles south of St.Louis
 
PAR4DCR wrote:
Offer to take another photo of her??? Or tell her it is what it is.

Don



Reply
Dec 19, 2023 07:18:41   #
billnikon Loc: Pennsylvania/Ohio/Florida/Maui/Oregon/Vermont
 
Ellen101 wrote:
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. I often run into what I think might be a good shot. I always ask permision to take someone's picture.
Here is what I am now dealing with: Recenty two older women ( ages 81 ans 92) asked me to take their photos for a project they were doing. I replied "Sure", They came to my home where i have some plain background set ups.
The shoot went well. They wanted themselves in a very close up pose cheek to cheek.
One of them came with me to get it printed. She was very happy with way it prints came out. She framed it herself and put it on display at our City Hall Art Gallery. The other lady is now very angry with me for making her look old.
She is 92 and does have some lines on her face. Now she is ending our friendship,
I did tell these women that I do not do much photo shop stuff except cropping. The 81 year old is OK with the photo.
What can I do ?
we know most people are NOT satisfied with the way they look in photos.
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. ... (show quote)


Lesson learned. Professional photography is not for the faint of heart.
Next time, PHOTO RELEASE CONTRACT.

Reply
Dec 19, 2023 08:26:07   #
Jimmy T Loc: Virginia
 
Ellen101 wrote:
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. I often run into what I think might be a good shot. I always ask permision to take someone's picture.
Here is what I am now dealing with: Recenty two older women ( ages 81 ans 92) asked me to take their photos for a project they were doing. I replied "Sure", They came to my home where i have some plain background set ups.
The shoot went well. They wanted themselves in a very close up pose cheek to cheek.
One of them came with me to get it printed. She was very happy with way it prints came out. She framed it herself and put it on display at our City Hall Art Gallery. The other lady is now very angry with me for making her look old.
She is 92 and does have some lines on her face. Now she is ending our friendship,
I did tell these women that I do not do much photo shop stuff except cropping. The 81 year old is OK with the photo.
What can I do ?
we know most people are NOT satisfied with the way they look in photos.
I take my Nikon camera and cell phone everywhere. ... (show quote)


You could ask her if she can truthfully say that she didn't get her money's (free?) worth.
However, that wouldn't be productive for saving a "Skin Deep Friendship".
I have seen the results of some programs that "Soften Skin" to the point that the subject's face looks like a balloon.
Is that what she wants? I have a friend who wants and likes the "Ballon Face" look.
IMHO, I would offer to redo the pic and "Soften" her skin to save the "Friendship".
If this is beyond your skillset I'm pretty sure that many UHH members are willing to lend a Photoshop session for you.
JimmyT Sends,
Huge Sigh

PS: If she is 92 don't put this off, life is indeed short . . . .

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