dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE!

This needs no explanation. Comprehensive version of some of these seen over the years!

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Men Are Just Happier People! What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.



Car mechanics tell you the t***h. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.



New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.



You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.



Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades, even if you are bald. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.



You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!



NICKNAME · If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Dips**t, Bonehead, and Dork.



EATING OUT · When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.



MONEY. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs . A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



BATHROOMS · A man has six items in his bathroom : toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



ARGUMENTS · A woman has the last word in any argument. . Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!



FUTURE · A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband . A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



MARRIAGE · A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DRESSING UP · A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. · A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



NATURAL · Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed · Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



OFFSPRING · Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. · A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! So, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and to the men who will enjoy reading.

Dennis

Texcaster Loc: Queensland

lol. First paragraph. " ... You can never be pregnant. ... ". Jackpot!
"BINGO HERE!!! ... and men can make laws mandating birth or else! No wonder we're so damned happy!" Trump ... doing his little happy dance.

srg

Very funny and profound.
Thanks for this.

skylane5sp Loc: Puyallup, WA

WT actual F is wrong with you?
You are more of a ‘trumpette’ than I or anyone I know could possibly be.

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

You are correct and it IS a true story. Men cannot be pregnant. Show me/us a man who has given birth, is presently pregnant. I will wait right here.

You so easily forget Roe Vs Wade had nothing at all to do with the Constitution. That was just Left Wing lying corrupt bulls**t from the Left side of the aisle.

Another Left Wing splash of bulls**t is your comment of, "men can make laws mandating birth or else. Now how do you so easily forget WOMEN are also in on the law making part of Congress and in all states. Yet you only point out MEN. What a lying piece of s**t that comment was as was your entire post.

How like you to post nothing but BS trying to prove a non existent point.

Dennis

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

Glad you enjoyed it. I thought it was very humorous. I wondered if it fit in The Attic but after reading the illogical and asinine post from lil tex I know it was a great choice.

Dennis

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

Surely you have noticed the Left often blames the Right for what the Left actually does. That is the same as lil tex blaming Conservatives and Trump for the moronic thoughts of the Left. Unfortunately the Left is not smart enough to look in a mirror and see the pile of bulls**t standing there.

Dennis

Kraken Loc: Barry's Bay

Surely you have noticed the Right often blames the Left for what the Right actually does. That is the same as lil tex blaming Conservatives and Trump for the moronic thoughts of the Right. Unfortunately, the Right is not smart enough to look in a mirror and see the pile of bulls**t standing there.

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

You not only copied my post, probably because you are not intelligent enough to post your own version, but you also F'd it up Big Time as USUAL. Congratulations AGAIN on being a LOSER. Soon now you will be receiving Me Too's from lil denny, lil tex and of course little francine.

Dennis

Kraken Loc: Barry's Bay

I am just trying to correct your bull-$hit and make you look

more intelligent but if you don't appreciate my efforts and

want to continue looking like a moroon just say so and I

will understand at least for one day.

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

Puleeeze get a grip, get a hold of wh**ever common sense you might possibly have left in your brain pan. Can't be much because I know Trump lives there rent free 24/7/365. You trying to correct anything I have posted will only be an exercise in idiocy for you. It would be as if a piece of dog poop could turn something into a chocolate cake. You could never hope to equal my writing sk**ls. What a comic endeavor that would be. You have tried for how many years now and not even one time have you ever come close.

You have simply wasted your time posting and have made yourself play the role of a FOOL. I will give you credit, you do it well as if you have been doing that exact thing for all of your pathetic life. Oh wait...you have been.

See how well you have done. You don't even have to work to play the FOOL these days. It just comes naturally to you, just like pulling your panties on in the morning. Good job krackhead.

Dennis

Kraken Loc: Barry's Bay

Writing 3 paragraphs to get your point across when it could

be done in 3 sentences doesn't show writing sk**ls.

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

It is called poetic license. That is how I write. How telling it is ONLY some of you on the Left who do not like my writing style. Try to get over your own inability to understand the written word.

AGAIN, you don't like it then don't read it. Only an i***t would keep whining and b***hing like a little effeminate pussy over something they have no control over and for which they could easily have a remedy. Don't be dumb enough to read posts you don't like. Do try to grow some balls and act SOMETHING like a male for a change. Might be the first time in your life.

C'mon krackhead, give it try. Grow a pair.

Dennis

Kraken Loc: Barry's Bay

You call making insults and giving girly names to people you

don't agree with writing sk**ls, well then you are nuts.

Racmanaz Loc: Sunny Tucson!

Please don’t insult the mentally disturbed Aussie. 😀