Cows & Politics Explained



Nov 25, 2012 08:40:26 #
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.


AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. You work hard to keep your farm nice and profitable, You sell the milk and pay 35% taxes to the Gov. and the Gov. gives your money to your neighbor as a EBT card, They buy beer, cigarettes and steaks with the EBT cards and sit on their lazy butts all day.


AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.


A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.


A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.


DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.


A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows You drink more wine.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.


AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
REDISTRIBUTIONISM
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support someone else who already got a free cow from the government.


AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. You work hard to keep your farm nice and profitable, You sell the milk and pay 35% taxes to the Gov. and the Gov. gives your money to your neighbor as a EBT card, They buy beer, cigarettes and steaks with the EBT cards and sit on their lazy butts all day.


AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.


A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.


A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.


DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.


A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows You drink more wine.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.


AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
REDISTRIBUTIONISM
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support someone else who already got a free cow from the government.
Nov 25, 2012 09:15:22 #
Somehow, reading the news and watching the news on tv lately reminds me of a lot of them.
Sarge69 :thumbup:
Sarge69 :thumbup:
Nov 26, 2012 08:36:51 #
Nov 26, 2012 08:47:46 #
Nov 26, 2012 09:02:22 #
Where's my cheese, from your milk, from my two cows?
Who's running this operation, anyway?
Who's running this operation, anyway?
Nov 26, 2012 11:45:05 #
English telepathic cows? two of them standing in field one goes MOOOoo
the other says...Funny I was just thinking that..:-)
2 English cows feeding at trough..One cow says, they recon that mad cow disease comes from this type of feed, doesnt that bother you?
Second cow replies..Why should it..I'm a Duck..doh :thumbup:
the other says...Funny I was just thinking that..:-)
2 English cows feeding at trough..One cow says, they recon that mad cow disease comes from this type of feed, doesnt that bother you?
Second cow replies..Why should it..I'm a Duck..doh :thumbup:
Nov 26, 2012 12:51:45 #
Nov 26, 2012 17:59:41 #
On the Japanese cows and milk you missed that they glow in the dark - so you can find them without lights in the fields and clean up spilt milk easier in the dark!
Nov 26, 2012 20:10:08 #
Nov 27, 2012 07:09:03 #
Hi Sourdough :D Sorry for my ignorance :hunf: I got carried away. I read through your post and enjoyed it very much, I have saved it..thanks for sharing..regards
Nov 27, 2012 09:39:32 #
Dec 2, 2012 17:03:48 #
sourdough58 wrote:
Thanks I will add these on.
That was a great read, enjoyed it very much, thanks...
Dec 2, 2012 17:43:47 #
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