JohnFrim Loc: Somewhere in the Great White North.

Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven.

God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in."

God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?" He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen." God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Obama, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Hillary and says, "What do you believe?" Hillary says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Obama I believe in hard work. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true patriot and a loyal American." God is greatly moved by Hillary's high-pitched eloquence, and he offers her a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Trump and says, "And you, Donald, what do you believe?"
Trump replies, "I believe you're in my seat.”

InfiniteISO Loc: The Carolinas, USA

Ha, ha. I don't believe any of the three are very religious, so that detracts from the joke. You also paint God as someone swayed by speeches, rather than actions.

Obama spent years attending Jeremiah Wright's church in Chicago. The main thrust of that church was Black Liberation (AKA - I h**e W****s) Theology.

Hillary is more in love with herself than Donald, and likely more guilty of serious crimes.

Overall, this joke is piss poor.

hondo812 Loc: Massachusetts

Wait a second....Isn't Obama the second coming? Pretty sure the alphabet news agencies were touting that line for a decade or more. And as a Catholic we have the Holy Trinity deal going on, so God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are different manifestations of God....more or less.

Put another way, science says there are three types of matter. Douglas Adams says humans are big bags of liquid.
Therefore God, Jesus, et al can exist in all three phases simultaneously.

While I've no doubt that all three have swollen egos that let them believe they each have been ordained by a "higher power" what we really have are two blowhards and one that can't/won't suck....the intern does it for her.

DaveO Loc: Northeast CT

Lol, you can always tell a trumpette, but you can't tell them much!

Texcaster Loc: Queensland

"While I've no doubt that all three have swollen egos that let them believe they each have been ordained by a 'higher power' ... ".

But only one of them ever said "I am the Chosen one" out loud and has been convicted of sexual assault.
Just quietly, only you and Joe bring up the Catholics as a bolster for anything these days.

JohnFrim Loc: Somewhere in the Great White North.

I can accept your first two niggles, but your third paragraph is just plain wrong… on both points.

Overall, your reply shows that the t***h is a tough pill for Republicans to swallow.

hondo812 Loc: Massachusetts

First off, I am a Catholic.

Second, if you believe in God, He, She, It can exist any number of ways. We cannot. Lastly, you didn't get it. Pity.

hondo812 Loc: Massachusetts

Get your glasses fixed.

Texcaster Loc: Queensland

12 years of Catholic school was more than enough for me. (quietly, after two years I was Agnostic for life)

hondo812 Loc: Massachusetts

Well, I can't speak to that. I'm not a very good Catholic. Can't recall the last time I attended church for something other than weddings, funerals, and the occasional baptisms. I think I stopped when I was 13'ish. Got married in a Protestant church because that is what my bride wanted. I got to ring the bell though and that was fun.