Celibacy can be a choice in life
Nov 20, 2023 11:26:31 #
Going the e-mail rounds.
Celibacy can be a choice in life ... or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a marriage retreat, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men, “Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, "Pillsbury Unbleached All-Purpose, isn't it?”
And thus began my life of celibacy...
Celibacy can be a choice in life ... or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a marriage retreat, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men, “Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, "Pillsbury Unbleached All-Purpose, isn't it?”
And thus began my life of celibacy...
Nov 20, 2023 11:54:31 #
Nov 20, 2023 12:08:08 #
Nov 20, 2023 17:53:50 #
New Parishioners, 3 couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked,
"Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to our church!" said the pastor.
The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked,
"Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad.
The second week, I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to our church!" said the pastor.
The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked,
"Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.
"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and she dropped it.
When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"Well, you do understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome to join our church," said the pastor.
"Yes, We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome anymore at Home Depot either."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked,
"Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to our church!" said the pastor.
The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked,
"Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad.
The second week, I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to our church!" said the pastor.
The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked,
"Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.
"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and she dropped it.
When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"Well, you do understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome to join our church," said the pastor.
"Yes, We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome anymore at Home Depot either."
Nov 20, 2023 18:11:52 #
Nov 20, 2023 18:49:35 #
Nov 20, 2023 19:14:30 #
Nov 20, 2023 20:35:48 #
Nov 21, 2023 07:52:29 #
Nov 21, 2023 10:26:47 #
MosheR
Loc: New York City
bcheary wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. img src="https://static.u... (show quote)
I like this joke and Burns response to it.
Nov 21, 2023 11:22:46 #
ImageCreator wrote:
I’m guessing some are celibate even though married.
Nov 21, 2023 11:22:59 #
Nov 21, 2023 11:23:33 #
Nov 21, 2023 11:28:11 #
Nov 21, 2023 11:30:40 #
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