Understanding Engineers
Jun 11, 2023 12:48:56 #
I would like to include this for your Sunday Morning Amusement.
Understanding Engineers 1
Two engineering students were riding bicycles across a university campus when one said,
"Where did you get the great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, ’Take what you want.’"
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers 2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers 3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't think I've ever seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers 4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers 5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers 6
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it isn't sufficiently complex yet.
And Finally
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A lady surveyor walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Steve, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took pliers from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground.
Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "21' 6", and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and have been elected to congress.
Understanding Engineers 1
Two engineering students were riding bicycles across a university campus when one said,
"Where did you get the great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, ’Take what you want.’"
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers 2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers 3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't think I've ever seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers 4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers 5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers 6
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it isn't sufficiently complex yet.
And Finally
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A lady surveyor walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Steve, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took pliers from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground.
Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "21' 6", and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and have been elected to congress.
Jun 11, 2023 13:02:55 #
Scruples wrote:
I would like to include this for your Sunday Morni... (show quote)
Those were great! LOL
LOL 
Jun 11, 2023 13:20:47 #
The last one is the best, and unfortunately probably true. Except most politicians have never held a real job in their lives.
Jun 11, 2023 13:33:03 #
Makes me so glad I'm a scientist become clergyman. Sent to engineer son-in-law. LOL
Jun 11, 2023 13:37:44 #
Sent a copy to my brother--an engineer designing jet engines. I think he will appreciate the humor. Thanks for sharing.
Jun 11, 2023 13:49:03 #
nervous2 wrote:
Sent a copy to my brother--an engineer designing jet engines. I think he will appreciate the humor. Thanks for sharing.
I sent it to my son. He has a PhD in Engineering Physics. Don’t ask me what he does. It is rocket science to me.
Jun 12, 2023 08:05:28 #
Jun 12, 2023 08:24:48 #
Very good. There are good engineering channels on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4G0aTq5oSM
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=engineering
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4G0aTq5oSM
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=engineering
Jun 12, 2023 08:26:17 #
Jun 12, 2023 09:47:17 #
petercbrandt
Loc: New York City, Manhattan
Scruples wrote:
I would like to include this for your Sunday Morni... (show quote)
Fantastic, you made my day !
Jun 12, 2023 10:30:04 #
StanMac
Loc: Tennessee
In regard to the “The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?", a co-worker with a degree in French was one of the best cost analysts we had in our Network Planning department.
Stan
Stan
Jun 12, 2023 11:21:46 #
Jun 12, 2023 12:49:31 #
Jun 12, 2023 14:08:42 #
StanMac wrote:
In regard to the “The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?", a co-worker with a degree in French was one of the best cost analysts we had in our Network Planning department.
Stan
Stan
When I went through Nuclear Power School in the navy…one of my classmates was a Chinese language major. Never figured out how/why he got into the submarine business.
Jun 12, 2023 15:16:02 #
TheShoe
Loc: Lacey, WA
neillaubenthal wrote:
When I went through Nuclear Power School in the navy…one of my classmates was a Chinese language major. Never figured out how/why he got into the submarine business.
I once had a boss who majored in Theology. I had a difficult time because, even though he had a Jesuit background, he never understood that neither computers nor subordinates had infinite capacities.
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