The Cynical Philosopher
Feb 14, 2023 10:40:59 #
The Cynical Philosopher
- Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
- Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
- If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
- I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
-Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
- America is a country that produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
- My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
- I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
- Money talks ... but all mine ever says is goodbye.
- I'm not fat, I'm just -- easier to see.
- If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
- My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
- The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I'm pretty sure she's going to get me something.
- Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
- Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
- Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
- If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
- I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
-Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
- America is a country that produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
- My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
- I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
- Money talks ... but all mine ever says is goodbye.
- I'm not fat, I'm just -- easier to see.
- If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
- My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
- The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I'm pretty sure she's going to get me something.
- Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
Feb 14, 2023 12:14:29 #
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