Stress Diet 2
Oct 15, 2022 09:04:31 #
There is no end to great advice about eating.
Diet Rules
1. If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet Coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the chocolate is cancelled out by the diet Coke.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (For example: hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake, vodka...)
5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner.
6. Cinema-related foods have a zero-calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake. This includes popcorn, Minties, Maltesers, Jaffas and frozen Cokes.
7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up causes calorie leakage.
8. Food licked from knives and spoons has no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.
9. Foods that are the same color have the same amount of fat. Examples are spinach and peppermint ice cream, apples and red jelly snakes.
10. Chocolate is like a food-color wildcard and may be substituted for any other color.
11. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass.
12. Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (Oh, how fat likes to cling!)
And remember: 'STRESSED' SPELT BACKWARDS IS 'DESSERTS'!
Diet Rules
1. If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet Coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the chocolate is cancelled out by the diet Coke.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (For example: hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake, vodka...)
5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner.
6. Cinema-related foods have a zero-calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake. This includes popcorn, Minties, Maltesers, Jaffas and frozen Cokes.
7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up causes calorie leakage.
8. Food licked from knives and spoons has no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.
9. Foods that are the same color have the same amount of fat. Examples are spinach and peppermint ice cream, apples and red jelly snakes.
10. Chocolate is like a food-color wildcard and may be substituted for any other color.
11. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass.
12. Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (Oh, how fat likes to cling!)
And remember: 'STRESSED' SPELT BACKWARDS IS 'DESSERTS'!
Oct 15, 2022 09:14:55 #
Oct 16, 2022 07:54:52 #
ThanksOct 16, 2022 09:05:42 #
Oct 16, 2022 10:14:59 #
sourdough58 wrote:
Any food eaten in the dark has no calories as well.
Good to know.
Oct 16, 2022 12:36:11 #
sourdough58 wrote:
Any food eaten in the dark has no calories as well.
Be sure to identify it as food before you turn out the lights.
Oct 17, 2022 09:17:36 #
Regarding #2: that is why we always get a Diet Coke with our Big Mac and fries!
Oct 17, 2022 09:32:29 #
sb wrote:
Regarding #2: that is why we always get a Diet Coke with our Big Mac and fries!
Every little bit helps, or does it? Is the popularity of diet drinks why we have such a slim population?
There's an article about the microplastic we consume every day being partially responsible for widespread obesity. I'll have to read it. Maybe it was on YouTube.
Oct 17, 2022 10:16:15 #
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