lwerthe1mer Loc: Birmingham, Alabama

A decent but not great photographer with no experience shooting an event, I have been asked by a young couple to shoot their son’s bar mitzvah. I would not accept compensation.

I am flattered but very reluctant to accept. any guidance on how to handle such an assignment if I choose to accept?

Thanks.

Rab-Eye Loc: Indiana

Your very first step is to confirm that photography is permitted on the Sabbath. Many synagogues, such as mine, go through a dress rehearsal before the event and photographs are taken then. Traditional Judaism does not allow photography on the Sabbath.

dennis2146 Loc: Eastern Idaho

I would ask the parents what type of photos are they expecting, group, the ceremony, photos of individuals or in small groups etc. I am not Jewish so have no idea of the actual ceremony but that is what I would be asking the parents, basically what goes on and in what time frame. That should give you a good idea of what to expect.

I would also tell the parents your photography experience and also that you have not done this type of photography in the past so they also know what to expect.

Dennis

mwsilvers Loc: Central New Jersey

In the synagogue or at a celebration later at a catering hall? Why did this couple ask you to do it? You are not a pro and have never done this before. What are their expectations?

bsprague Loc: Lacey, WA, USA

As "A decent but not great photographer", I assume you can do post processing.

A long time ago in the film days, I went to a wedding where disposable Kodak cameras were spread out on the tables for guests to shoot candids. The resulting alblum was full of excitement and creativity.

Consider asking guests to email their best smartphone work and then make an album, book, slideshow or video.

a6k Loc: Detroit & Sanibel

First, be aware that no good deed goes unpunished. Secondly plan to use only available light if you do not want to be a distraction. I am referring to the ceremony. A Bar Mitzvah typically also involves, later, a dinner party in which case, it would be no different than, for example, a wedding.

If you are photographing the ceremony, assuming it is allowed, then consider using a camera with a silent shutter. Obviously, that rules out a DSLR. Perhaps a good video from which frames could be extracted? The parents might want the video of the son reading his "portion". All of this should be discussed with your friends ahead of time.

worldcycle Loc: Stateline, Nevada

I'm with bsprague, if they do not want to hire a professional, the cell phone candid/selfie idea is by far the best way to go. With no real experience and being a "decent photographer", you yourself will be in all probability be disappointed with the results after an exceptionally stressful time of trying to give your friends something that they will not be disappointed with. Just because I have a camera and I am constantly asked to do something photographic for a friend, I have yet to say yes. Many times I may take a camera, take photos and if I like them, I will offer copies to my friends. That way the pressure is off everyone. I have a good time at the event, I take the photos I want to take and if I believe they are worthy, then I will make a gift of them. Always the recipient has be thrilled because they have received a little something extra special they did not expect.

rmorrison1116 Loc: Near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania

There are books on the subject. If you intend to go ahead with the photography, you should pick up a book or two on the subject, read them and practice, practice, practice. Also put together a posed shot list using input from the couple.
If these folks are good friends, think hard about what their friendship means to you. If you don't do a good job in their eyes, your friendship will probably be in jeopardy.
Again, if you decide to go ahead with the photography, practice, practice, practice. It's not hard if you have the right gear and you know how to use it, and you have an approved shot list for the posed photos.

User ID

DUCK IT !!!...
and whatever rhymes with that !

User ID

Uh huh. Its the twelfth commandment.

lwerthe1mer Loc: Birmingham, Alabama

I appreciate everyone’s advice. I don’t feel comfortable with the proposed assignment and intend to decline.

I love post processing and am probably a better-than-average photographer, but I don’t feel up to the task.

Thanks again for your input.

David Martin Loc: Cary, NC

Typically, before the service begins, posed photos are taken of the son at the lectern reading the Torah -- alone, with the rabbi, and then with parents at his side, from different angles. The usual group photos - family, family with clergy, etc. are also often taken.

No photos are taken during service itself.

Afterwards, numerous posed and candid photos are taken during the celebration that follows the service.

Rab-Eye Loc: Indiana

Well, the fourth in actual fact, but who’s counting?

bsprague Loc: Lacey, WA, USA

When I've watched professionals at weddings or other events, it is clear that by agreement or contract, they will be in command and control. They will direct the action and activity long enough to get the images. That same command and control is what makes wedding photographers into obnoxious people. One can't blend into the background and end up with stunning event photos.

E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

I am a veteran of many hundreds of Bar Mitzvah coverages.

On the surface, to the uninitiated, it is a religious ceremony celebrating a young man's entry into the Jewish Community coupled with a rather festive and sometimes lavish birthday party. Sounds simple enough but, although I seldom try to discourage folks for try things for the first time, this is no job for an inexperienced photographer.

In many Jewish families, it is an extremely important event, tantamount to the importance of a wedding. Judaism has many denominations from Ultra Othradox, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and more. In the Ultra Othados, there are sects. My point is that the event is celebrated in different ways by different folks. The photographer needs to be familiar with the various customers, rituals, and restrictions of photography.

The ceremony usually tasks place during the Sabith service when photography or any kind of "work" is prohibited. My method is to attend a rehearsal where you man will practice reading from the Torah. There are many important protocols pertaining to handling and reading these scrolls. Usually, the scroll can not be taken from the Arc and opened for any kinda frivolous reason- like taking pictures. It is usually OK if the Bar Mitzvah Boy is reading and studying for his actual reading. This, of course, is done on a non-sabbatical weekday. I will have the family, parents, grandparents Rabbi, siblings reenact a few key parts of the ceremony. I work quickly with multiple flash and available lights. I shoot from angles that do not show empty pews.

I also coordinate this session with the Rabbi and/or the sexton of the congregation. This is not universally allowed in every synagogue or congregation, there may be many variations in permissions and restrictions- you need to find out in advance.

The idea is to record the essence of the ceremony and the appropriate expressions of profound pride and joy in the boy and his family. Sometimes 13-year-old boys can be a handful- you gotta make friends with them!

After the Synagogue session, it's off to the family home for the family portraits, the parents, grandparents and other close relatives. Gettingting all the out of the way means that the party coverage, usually Saturday after sundown, can be covered in a mostly photojournalistic way without pulling the family away from the guests. Somets an hour or so before the part, the larger family group can be set up. The part can take place athe Synagogue's function, a hotel, or another catering venue.

The party can be anything fr a simple reception to a rip-roaring extravaganza! Live music, DJs traditional Jewish music, Rock 'n' roll, Lotsa food, tradition and wild dancing, lifting the kid and his parent up on chairs and dancing to another room with them up in the air. There might be a giant birthday cake with a candlelight ceremony. You gotta be on your toes and be able to shoot fast and accurately.

This is an outline of an average modern Bar Mitzvah celebration but there are many variations. It requires planning and being prepared.