markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ

~ Jean Kerr...
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.



~ Prince Philip...
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

~ Harrison Ford...
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

~ Spike Milligan...
The best cure for Sea Sickness is to sit under a tree.

~ Jean Rostand...
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.

~ WH Auden.
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

~ Johnny Carson...
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.

~ Steve Martin...
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.

~ Jimmy Durante...
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

~ Betsy Salkind...
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

~ George Roberts...
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

~ Robert Benchley...
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

~ John Glenn...
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.

~ David Letterman...
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

~ Howard Hughes...
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Actually, I'm a billionaire.

~ Old Italian proverb...
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box

I hope you laughed and smiled for a few minutes.
Mark

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Excellent!

dancers Loc: melbourne.victoria, australia

great fun Mark. Thank you.

yssirk123 Loc: New Jersey

Peterfiore Loc: Where DR goes south

Great stuff, thanks.

VietVet Loc: Brooklyn, NY

Excellent sayings Mark and so true.

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

starlifter Loc: Towson, MD

Great quotes.

markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ

Thank you all for the kind comments. I can't even remember where I found them and that was yesterday!! HELP
Mark

Bill_de Loc: US

Thanks Mark.

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Bill_de Loc: US

Thanks Mark

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markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ

My pleasure Bill!!
Mark

tommystrat Loc: Bigfork, Montana

Thanks!!

kenArchi Loc: Seal Beach, CA

Excellent stuff Mark. The luggage on the carousel I can't figure that one out.

markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ

Thanks, Ken.
My experience at luggage conveyors seems to recall baggage going around and around, but nobody claims a few. Hence the line about the first one does not belong to anyone.