APHORISMS
Jan 18, 2022 22:39:21 #
An Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.
Some examples follow:
I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble....but shouldn't that be an even number?
I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
I can't understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named, " Sag Harbor ."
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch.
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
Does all this make you feel better about aphorisms?
Some examples follow:
I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble....but shouldn't that be an even number?
I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
I can't understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named, " Sag Harbor ."
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch.
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
Does all this make you feel better about aphorisms?
Jan 18, 2022 22:57:48 #
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Jan 19, 2022 13:19:55 #
john451 wrote:
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
Did Gomer ever marry LuAnn?
Jan 19, 2022 13:20:51 #
john451 wrote:
An Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion ex... (show quote)
Outstanding! Especially the last one! Thanks!
Jan 19, 2022 14:17:45 #
WilmaRhinehart
Loc: Birmingham AL
Thanks for sharing! Those are great and gave me some good laughs !
Jan 19, 2022 14:19:08 #
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