Kids and wisdom
Oct 18, 2012 00:47:32 #
Advice from Kids:
"Never trust a dog to watch your food.
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?¹ Don't answer."
"Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. "
"Never allow your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment. "
"Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers."
"Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time."
"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."
"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. "
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."
"Never try to baptize a cat.
"* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
What Kids Are Thinking...
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The seventh commandment is: "Thou shalt not admit adultery."
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Great Bits of Wisdom,................
"Instead of getting married again, just find a woman you don't like and just give her a house."
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
"Never trust a dog to watch your food.
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?¹ Don't answer."
"Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. "
"Never allow your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment. "
"Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers."
"Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time."
"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."
"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. "
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."
"Never try to baptize a cat.
"* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
What Kids Are Thinking...
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The seventh commandment is: "Thou shalt not admit adultery."
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Great Bits of Wisdom,................
"Instead of getting married again, just find a woman you don't like and just give her a house."
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oct 19, 2012 12:04:48 #
All true thoughts. What is the name of your wifes magazine if you don't mind. Being married to you i figure she must have good input,
Oct 19, 2012 12:55:32 #
Oct 19, 2012 15:37:27 #
PRETENDER wrote:
All true thoughts. What is the name of your wifes magazine if you don't mind. Being married to you i figure she must have good input,
Thanks for asking.
The magazine is Nature Photographer magazine.
Website http://www.naturephotographermag.com/
Yes, Helen enjoys my continuous humorous observations,....she's my fan club,.... It is a great outlet for the soul though,....said to make for living longer????? So far,..So good!
A good laugh till tears roll down your face and your gut hurts is the best medicine...IMHO,.... keeps you young (not to be confused with immature,...although I have been known to get the two confusiated)
I think well written humor should be passed along for others to enjoy and share, just as important as philosophical and profound statements and thought provoking quotes are.
Is part of my enjoyment of life.
That's my kid wisdom.
Marty
Oct 19, 2012 17:43:14 #
Martys, I had tears running down my face. There were some good mental videos running with these statements. "Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time!!! Ha Haaaa. Still LMAO :lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks for sharing. I passed this on to my kids who tried some of these.
Oct 20, 2012 07:01:41 #
Marty...Steve Wright and now this...you're on a roll. A great pick- me- up on this rainy morning in Lubec!
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