Love your stories and your experience. Would love to trade stories sometime in person.

I have been doing it 47+ years as a pro. One of my mentors was photojournalist David Kennerly who won a Pulitzer for his war coverage in Vietnam, and later was my boss as I was a white house photo intern picked by him briefly back in 1976, before they cut the white house staff budget during the campaign of fiscal one-upmanship between GOP Pres. Ford and Dem. Presidential Candidate Jimmy Carter and my internship was cut short after a few weeks working in the white house. Cheers

This past week I shot another wedding. it was a beach wedding, The sun was low making harsh shadows, There was 2 garbage cans chained to a flag pole which was directly behind the path set up for the bride to walk. There were signs on the dunes, on the wood boardwalk. There was large buildings behind that.
The sky was gray not blue, ( thank god for sky replacement )
the brides maid decided she should stick her tongue out non stop thinking it was funny.

The grooms mother was late the wedding had started. I didnt get a pic of her coming down the isle, she snuck down the side ( kind of hard to hide on the beach. )
When I did photos after the ceremony, the Grooms mother got up and left. I had one pic of her and it wasnt good.

I sent a few pix to the brides mother The bride was very heavy, the mother was heavy, She was not happy with those pix saying she looked fat. ( that was after I had did my best to make her look thinner while shooting and while editing)
Editing is a bitch , removing all the signs and garbage cans, the wind was blowing so lots of hair editing.

So you know how my week is going . I'm sure you have some great photo stories, lets hear them,

This past week I shot another wedding. it was a beach wedding, The sun was low making harsh shadows, There was 2 garbage cans chained to a flag pole which was directly behind the path set up for the bride to walk. There were signs on the dunes, on the wood boardwalk. There was large buildings behind that.
The sky was gray not blue, ( thank god for sky replacement )
the brides maid decided she should stick her tongue out non stop thinking it was funny.

The grooms mother was late the wedding had started. I didnt get a pic of her coming down the isle, she snuck down the side ( kind of hard to hide on the beach. )
When I did photos after the ceremony, the Grooms mother got up and left. I had one pic of her and it wasnt good.

I sent a few pix to the brides mother The bride was very heavy, the mother was heavy, She was not happy with those pix saying she looked fat. ( that was after I had did my best to make her look thinner while shooting and while editing)
Editing is a bitch , removing all the signs and garbage cans, the wind was blowing so lots of hair editing.

So you know how my week is going . Im sure you have some great photo stories, lets hear them,

I am sorry to hear of your bad expereince- the entire scene sounds like the stuff of nightmares. Believe me, after nearly 60-years in the wedding photography business. I would never attempt to Monday morning quarterback your story. If, however, you are wanting to continue shooting weddigs, I can suggest some workarounds for many of your issues with that bride, her mom and that location for hell.

I have had to photograhy many heavy brides, grooms and parents. Some were what the doctors term morbidly obese- a 500+ lb. groom and a petite bride, some of the girls weighed in at 3 or 4 hundred lbs. and some of this is genetic and the mommas and poppas were that weight category as well. Some folks are happy in their own skin or bodies and some are not. Someof the brides chose gowns that did not mitigate ther apparent size. I am not making fun of these folks and my approch is that they are entitled to the best wedding photography, aesthetically speaking, that I can produce. Usually, I have met my couples well in advance and can plan various strategies, make some suggestions as to makeup, hairstyles and perhaps some clothing ideas and at least, shoot an engagement session as a test to impress them as to how someof these concepts might work in ther favour.

This may soud bizarre, but I have hidden some of their girth behind trees, shot portraits famed in "Y" shaped tree trunks and branches, used foliage as vignetting, split lighting, and all sorts of shenanigans that worked but did not seem obvious and looked perfectly natural. I have shot through doorways, windows, car window frames, candelabra, flowers, wedding cakes- whatever I could use for foreground framing.

Many of these folks had absolutely beautiful facial features that could be "exploited" in closeup and strategic camera angle and lighting.

We are photograhers, not bariatric surgeons, but he all else fails there is retouching. PortraitPro- has software that can sculpt body shapes and if used properly and sparingly, you can make subtle changes that will be appreciated but not overly obvious. Portrat Pro has hair cleanups.

Informal portraits, lots have to do with posing, balanced stances, camera position and gown draping and attention to detail on the groom's clothing- avoiding baggy pants, open jackets and sloppy collars and neckties.

As for hard shadows in sunlit locations- you need to apply flash or reflector fill. Beaches are tough stuff for lack of trees or open shade. I usually scout locations that I am not familiar with ahead of time and may suggest an alternative location for formal shots and groups. I have, however, occasionally got stuck in a bad location that the cliets thought was perfectly fine so agoan, improvision is in order. First of all, I have physically moved garbage cans, rusting car parts, dead tree parts, broken fram implements and all sorts of junk from backgrounds that co not be avoided or thrown sufficient out of focus. Certain kids of junk and mess can actually look great when totally out of focuse0 a kida f/1.0 kinda aperture on a longer focal length. If you play your cards right, an overgrown weed field can look like the Hanging Gardens of Babylon with a few optical tricks. I gotta admit that the garbage cans chain to a flagpole is NOT GOOD! Makes me wanna keep bolt cutters in my car- just in case!

The most important thg to avoid client disappointment is good solid in person, pre-planning and discussion with the client as to their expectations. Folks can be self-conscious and shy about any number of physical issues, bad teeth, asymmetrical smiles and facial structures, bad hair, no hair, a lazy eye, scars, skin conditions, body types and more. If you can gain ther confidence and give them the understanding that you are working on their behalf, they will usually discuss these matters with you and in turn, o can tell them what you can do and how they can help. I will ask them about their wedding gown, veil, train or dress style, colours, flowers, decor, makeup and hairstyles and many of their concerns will come up.

As for folks who are late to the wedding or don't show up on time for formal portraits and group- that ain't your fault. I tell them in advance, if you ain't there, I can't photograph you. It's logical and common sense and most fols understand that. If they want to re-stage an aisle shot- I can do that. Just don't include the lack of guests in that shot and incert in the sequence.

The bridesmaid with the young thing? She may have been intoxicated. I wor make funny faces back at her- Oh!- my face can stop an 8-day clock and make it run backward even if iI am no making funny faces. I might tell her how beautiful she is, especially wah her tongue is retracted. I shoot lots of babies and difficult kids in my studio, I am used to childish behaviour and know how to control it- it's fun!


Just about every time these kinda wedding horror stories emerge, a raft of "I have a worse story" posts ensue. I mean. I have a few- how about a parent suffering a fatal heart attack during the ceremony or a fight breaking out at the reception that turned into a riot and the police were called in! There is some funny stuff too but all that does not do any good in learning the prevention of bad results or disappointed clients.

If you stay in the weeing biz, there are going to be more beach weddings, more heavy folks, more disgruntled mothers and mothers-in-law, moret bad locations and dreadful lighting conditions. Suggestions on how to preclude much of this and what to do to work around a bad situation are more important than comparing bad experiences. The old express that" misery likes company" is counterproductive- More misery just generates more misery!