madcapmagishion

If you've been around the internet for awhile, odds are you've stumbled across the awesome power of Chuck Norris. However, I don't think he's ever met Ken Rockwell.

Ken Rockwell's camera has settings similar to ours, except his are:

* P[erfect]
* A[wesome Priority]
* S[uperb Priority]
* M[ajestic]

Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts the world to match his vision.

Ken Rockwell deletes his bad photos, too. You and I refer to these as Pulitzer Prize winners.

Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF. He adjusts the space-time continuum.

Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for proper lighting when shooting landscapes. The sun rises and sets just for him.

Ken Rockwell doesn't flip his camera into the portrait position. He flips the earth.

Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus.

When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, 3 versions of the photo win first place in 3 different categories.

Before any new camera is released, they go to Ken Rockwell for review. The best cameras get a Nikon sticker, the others get a Canon sticker.

Once, a camera was tested and Ken Rockwell couldn't even put a Canon sticker on it. That's how Pentax was born.

Ken Rockwell only used flash once. Today we refer to it as the Chernobyl Incident.

Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius.

Ken Rockwell is the only photographer who can take self-portraits of you.

Ken Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes.

On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash icon is really just a link to National Geographic Magazine.

For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.

Ken Rockwell never uses auto-focus, everything just moves into position for him.

Carlmk Loc: Naples, FL & Boston, MA

Is there some reason to bash Ken Rockwell? I found many of Rockwell's reviews and suggestions helpful. As with most advice, I take it and use what seems to me what is appropriate. The writer must have a personal vendetta. My suggestion to him is don't read anything Ken Rockwell writes!

JBTaylor Loc: In hiding again

I don't think these jokes bash Ken Rockwell any more than Chuck Norris jokes bash Chuck Norris. I thought they were funny and I have nothing against Chuck nor Ken.

davidintexas

I interprete this as a compliment to Ken, not a cut. The equivalent Chuck Norris jokes are fun just like these ones. Thanks for the laugh.

oldmalky Loc: West Midlands,England.

If that is a rundown on the capabilities of Ken Rockwell I can see why the opening post must admire him



:thumbup: :thumbup:

workhorse Loc: Nashville, TN

I still believe that six million photographers as well as Ken Rockwell live because Chuck Norris lets them live. It's all a joke, come on folks!

madcapmagishion

No one is bashing Ken Rockwell! No personal vendetta. My suggestion to you is; you need to get a serious sense of humor!

PrairieSeasons Loc: Red River of the North

I agree with the others in that this is humor. The best humor, of course, is based in truth and fact. No one here doubts in the least that Ken Rockwell has an astronomically high opinion of himself and his skills. OP's compendium of facts just helps illustrate this.

JC56 Loc: Lake St.Louis mo.

Isn't Ken Rockwell a painter for the Saturday evening post...Didn't know he was a photographer too.

madcapmagishion

Ummm that would be Norman Rockwell, who died in 1978! :mrgreen:

jambo Loc: somerset England, originally London

only wish i was as clever or knowledgeable about photography,

John

HEART Loc: God's Country - COLORADO

[quote=madcapmagishion]If you've been around the internet for awhile, odds are you've stumbled across the awesome power of Chuck Norris. However, I don't think he's ever met Ken Rockwell.

Ken Rockwell's camera has settings similar to ours, except his are:

* P[erfect]
* A[wesome Priority]
* S[uperb Priority]
* M[ajestic]



madcapmagishion, LOVE IT! You've captured the essence of what photography is all about - trying to improve on success. Ken's stuff is entertaining, thought-provoking, and makes ya stop and say, "Oh...so that's how he did that!". And yes, he's making a buck off it, too. Can't fault success.

Now when my wife tells me, "Wow - what a great shot!" I'll be able to tell her that she's looking a Ken's work, not mine. Only, I'll lie.

Thanks for the post!

JC56 Loc: Lake St.Louis mo.

You sure about that....I saw one of his paintings in last weeks Saturday Evening Post......Maybe ole Ken has taken up that HDR razz ma tazz.

tramsey Loc: Texas

I though the post was hilarious. I also read Rockwell reviews if I want to find out about a Nikon. I also take them with a grain or two or three of salt.

raymondh Loc: Walker, MI

:D :lol: