Biden's V*****e Gestapo
Jul 9, 2021 17:57:36 #
"7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-Door V*****e Evangelists
The v*****e door-to-door evangelists are coming for you! Luckily, we at The Babylon Bee are extremely anti-social, so we've got some great ways to scare off the v*****e missionaries trying to get you to accept Dr. F***i as your lord and savior.
Try one of these and let us know how it goes!*
1. Answer the door while casually cleaning your AR-15. - "Greetings, agent of the government! What can I do for you today?"
2. Wear a MAGA hat. - Works every time.
3. Sneeze violently and say you're starting to lose your sense of taste. - "Does this apple taste like anything to you? Everything is starting to taste bland to me..."
4. Smear sacrificial ice cream on your doorposts to appease Biden. - It worked for the Israelites.
5. Show them your fully assembled LEGO Capitol Building set. - A true sign that you're a deranged terrorist -- they'll run away screaming.
6. Smile and offer to shake their hand. - Nothing scares the pro-SCIENCE crowd like interacting like a normal human being.
7. If all else fails, release the hounds. - Hopefully you've had your "Release the Hounds" button installed already.
*The Babylon Bee is not responsible for any death, dismemberment, or imprisonment in a reeducation camp resulting from these techniques."
The v*****e door-to-door evangelists are coming for you! Luckily, we at The Babylon Bee are extremely anti-social, so we've got some great ways to scare off the v*****e missionaries trying to get you to accept Dr. F***i as your lord and savior.
Try one of these and let us know how it goes!*
1. Answer the door while casually cleaning your AR-15. - "Greetings, agent of the government! What can I do for you today?"
2. Wear a MAGA hat. - Works every time.
3. Sneeze violently and say you're starting to lose your sense of taste. - "Does this apple taste like anything to you? Everything is starting to taste bland to me..."
4. Smear sacrificial ice cream on your doorposts to appease Biden. - It worked for the Israelites.
5. Show them your fully assembled LEGO Capitol Building set. - A true sign that you're a deranged terrorist -- they'll run away screaming.
6. Smile and offer to shake their hand. - Nothing scares the pro-SCIENCE crowd like interacting like a normal human being.
7. If all else fails, release the hounds. - Hopefully you've had your "Release the Hounds" button installed already.
*The Babylon Bee is not responsible for any death, dismemberment, or imprisonment in a reeducation camp resulting from these techniques."
Jul 9, 2021 18:22:16 #
Architect1776 wrote:
"7 Clever Ways To Scare Off Biden's Door-To-D... (show quote)
8. Re Elect i***t that thinks injecting bleach is a good idea.
Jul 9, 2021 18:37:16 #
erl wrote:
8. Re Elect i***t that thinks injecting bleach is a good idea.
Never said that.
Jul 9, 2021 18:58:54 #
papakatz45 wrote:
Never said that.
Pardon me for mis quote --- "injecting disinfectant"
Jul 9, 2021 19:30:27 #
erl wrote:
Pardon me for mis quote --- "injecting disinfectant"
Never said that.
Jul 9, 2021 20:04:52 #
papakatz45 wrote:
Never said that.
Do not tell the dumb a...s libs the t***h, it really butt hurts them.
Jul 9, 2021 20:13:11 #
Architect1776 wrote:
Do not tell the dumb a...s libs the t***h, it real... (show quote)
Carefull, they will report you to admin.
Jul 9, 2021 21:35:05 #
papakatz45 wrote:
Carefull, they will report you to admin.
Yes, the twerps will.
Jul 9, 2021 22:14:53 #
A neighbor of mine a few doors down the street is a c***d nurse. She told me about when she held a patients hand and he looked at her with pleading eyes and said. "This can't be happing because C***d doesn't exist," a few HOURS later he was dead. She starts to cry when she watches television and sees the people that don't believe it is a serious disease and they don'[t believe the numbers.
She told me the only way we are going to get most of our people v******ted if the ones that aren't get C***d and die
She told me the only way we are going to get most of our people v******ted if the ones that aren't get C***d and die
Jul 10, 2021 01:48:45 #
[quote=tramsey]A neighbor of mine a few doors down the street is a c***d nurse. She told me about when she held a patients hand and he looked at her with pleading eyes and said. "This can't be happing because C***d doesn't exist," a few HOURS later he was dead. She starts to cry when she watches television and sees the people that don't believe it is a serious disease and they don'[t believe the numbers.
She told me the only way we are going to get most of our people v******ted if the ones that aren't get C***d and die[/quote]
I will take my chances your darned if you do need darned if u dont.
She told me the only way we are going to get most of our people v******ted if the ones that aren't get C***d and die[/quote]
I will take my chances your darned if you do need darned if u dont.
Jul 10, 2021 07:48:02 #
[quote=tramsey]A neighbor of mine a few doors down the street is a c***d nurse. She told me about when she held a patients hand and he looked at her with pleading eyes and said. "This can't be happing because C***d doesn't exist," a few HOURS later he was dead. She starts to cry when she watches television and sees the people that don't believe it is a serious disease and they don'[t believe the numbers.
She told me the only way we are going to get most of our people v******ted if the ones that aren't get C***d and die[/quote]
Called culling the heard.
Most all who die were already half dead and only alive because of heroic efforts and constant use of stretched medical facilities.
The plague weeded out the weak and those who survived were the better genetically.
We have gone a long time with no such weeding out and as humans are breeding weaker and weaker generations.
She told me the only way we are going to get most of our people v******ted if the ones that aren't get C***d and die[/quote]
Called culling the heard.
Most all who die were already half dead and only alive because of heroic efforts and constant use of stretched medical facilities.
The plague weeded out the weak and those who survived were the better genetically.
We have gone a long time with no such weeding out and as humans are breeding weaker and weaker generations.
Jul 10, 2021 09:22:07 #
Just tell them that HIPPA laws forbid you from knowing my medical history without my written approval. So get the hell away from me.
Jul 10, 2021 09:39:40 #
Architect1776 wrote:
Called culling the heard.
Most all who die were already half dead and only alive because of heroic efforts and constant use of stretched medical facilities.
The plague weeded out the weak and those who survived were the better genetically.
We have gone a long time with no such weeding out and as humans are breeding weaker and weaker generations.
Most all who die were already half dead and only alive because of heroic efforts and constant use of stretched medical facilities.
The plague weeded out the weak and those who survived were the better genetically.
We have gone a long time with no such weeding out and as humans are breeding weaker and weaker generations.
Jul 10, 2021 09:40:07 #
boberic wrote:
Just tell them that HIPPA laws forbid you from knowing my medical history without my written approval. So get the hell away from me.
I like thanks
Jul 10, 2021 10:10:08 #
Architect1776 wrote:
Called culling the heard.
Most all who die were already half dead and only alive because of heroic efforts and constant use of stretched medical facilities.
The plague weeded out the weak and those who survived were the better genetically.
We have gone a long time with no such weeding out and as humans are breeding weaker and weaker generations.
Most all who die were already half dead and only alive because of heroic efforts and constant use of stretched medical facilities.
The plague weeded out the weak and those who survived were the better genetically.
We have gone a long time with no such weeding out and as humans are breeding weaker and weaker generations.
Yes the lord is culling the herd and the more people that get it the more chance of it mutating. The latest mutation is affecting younger and younger people, you know the ones who think it doesn't effect me. This v***s is smart and it won't be long if it keeps mutating till the v*****es are no longer effective, mainly because fools aren't getting v******ted.
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