braindamage Loc: Appley Bridge, Lancs, U.K.

*WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END....*

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now..

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers.
Now they drink like their fathers..

I didn't make it to the gym today.
That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the 'John'
and renamed it the 'Jim'. I feel so much better saying,
"I went to the Jim this morning".

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought
“Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights" I'm just very wise.

Don't ever ask me to bend down and touch my toes. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for "procrastinators" We haven't met yet.

Yes, Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager.. (Senior teenager)

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work. - I have a driver’s license and my own car. - I get an allowance every month. - I have my own ipad (although I can't recall where I kept it) - I don’t have a curfew.
Life is great.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names. And Now, I’m wondering…did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Nice, wise selection.

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

Spot-on!

JRiepe Loc: Southern Illinois

I love these.

superdadplano Loc: Dallas, TX

Ha ha!

47greyfox Loc: on the edge of the Colorado front range

Hit way too damn close to home. You been following me? If so, I’ve got a couple questions about yesterday.....

EdJ0307 Loc: out west someplace

.. and swear like their brothers.

scooter1 Loc: Yacolt, Wa.

Hits home

peekaboo

I'm not as old as I use to be.

DirtFarmer Loc: Escaped from the NYC area, back to MA

I don't have grey hair. I don't have any hair. Even if I did, "wisdom highlights" would be inappropriate for me since my wise teeth were extracted about 65 years ago.

joecichjr Loc: Chicago S. Suburbs, Illinois, USA

Dreams can come true ⭐

PAR4DCR Loc: A Sunny Place

I can relate to most of these!!

Don

crafterwantabe Loc: Mn

🤣🤣

mindzye Loc: WV

Oh the days......A very nicely dressed old-er gentleman walks into the neighborhood bar, stooped shouldered and bow legged, sits down next to a beautiful lady. He looks at her and asks, "Say gorgeous, do I come in here often"?