usnpilot Loc: Ft Myers Fl

Birds of a feather flock together and make gentle deposits on your car.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't yet met everybody.

When you see how some people wear face masks, it's no surprise that contraceptives don't always work.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame or you're recognizing how much worse other wrong things have been.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so everyone can tell when he/she's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

joecichjr Loc: Chicago S. Suburbs, Illinois, USA

Excellent philosophizing⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

usnpilot Loc: Ft Myers Fl

Ty

Mustanger Loc: Grants Pass, Oregon USA

Lol! All great ones...I plan on using these often! Thanks

NMGal Loc: NE NM

Some good chuckles there.

Retired CPO Loc: Travel full time in an RV

I agree with all of them except the wrinkles thing. It hurts every time I look into the mirror. Which explains my unshaved face most days.

Manglesphoto Loc: 70 miles south of St.Louis

#7 Works for me, 99.9% of the time.

nimbushopper Loc: Tampa, FL

yssirk123 Loc: New Jersey

raymondh Loc: Walker, MI

Dannj

Did you ever notice: When you put "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

Reminds me of an old Benny Hill skit where a sign painter was working on an office door and he painted:
“The rapist”

paulrph1 Loc: Washington, Utah

When you see how some people wear face masks, it's no surprise that contraceptives don't always work. LOved this one. As a pharmacists I once had a mother bring in a contraceptive container back to have a refill for her under aged daughter. And of the 21 pills there were only four missing tablets on different days. Inquisitive I wanted to know so I asked her why only some of the pills were taken and the response was she only takes them on the day of copulation. Sometimes you just cannot fix stupid.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Very good!

"The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement." That's how I live my life. Lose it; buy a replacement; find it.

phlash46 Loc: Westchester County, New York

koratcat

These are great. Thanks for the levity.