jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

I went for my annual physical this morning. I had a new nurse, young and with no sense of humor.  She had trouble getting my blood pressure.  She kept trying, and trying, and trying.  Finally, I said, "I know my heart is beating.  I can feel it."  she replied, "Okay."

Later, she was asking about my family history.  She said, "I see your father has passed away.  Did he have any medical problems?"   I laughed and said, "Yes.  That's why he died."  No reaction.

She also asked if I could hold my urine, and I pictured me standing there with a jar of the stuff.  I knew enough not to comment by that time.

I told the doctor about it, and he laughed.

flathead27ford Loc: Colorado, North of Greeley

LOL! People need to lighten up. Life is too short.

Doddy Loc: Barnard Castle-England

Ha Ha.

Manglesphoto Loc: 70 miles south of St.Louis

I usually holler ouch when a new nurse puts the Pulse Ox reader on my finger, So far I have always gotten a laugh out of it.

OnDSnap Loc: NE New Jersey

I love when they connect the EKG wires, I'll jump as if shocked...gets them every time.

jimward Loc: Perth, Western Australia

I went to see the doctor last week. He said "I Haven't seen you for a while." I said "No, I've been ill". He told me to stand by the window and stick out my tongue. I asked him why. He said he didn't like his neighbours.
I stole both those jokes from the late Tommy Cooper.

starlifter Loc: Towson, MD

I've wanted to say "Only when I stand too close to the fire" to the question "Do you smoke" ? But never remember.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Since going on Medicare, I don't get the EKG or breathing test. I guess they figure that if I made it to the doctor's office, my heart is beating, and I'm breathing. I should have kept track of the number of questions I was asked from the time I arrived - orally and on paper. I bet it was over 100. I remember when a physical was more physical than verbal.

One interesting thing - although I was double-masked, they asked me to wear one of their blue surgical masks. Good idea. Some people use "masks" that are close to worthless.

DakotaColt

When taking my blood pressure with the spag__meter each time the nurse would pump it up I'd straighten up in the chair a little bit as though they were inflating me. Usually gets a laugh and a "STOP THAT"! Now-a-days it's an automatic battery powered machine on a roll around stick allowing the nurse to write down or type into the computer your blood ox level while you're getting 'pumped up'. Oh the changes from the 40's. JimM

fourlocks Loc: Londonderry, NH

I have a rather pretty nurse practitioner who gives me my annual exam. When she told me she has a somewhat less embarrassing way to check my prostate, I asked, "You mean I can keep my clothes on?"

"Well not exactly," she responded, "you can lay on your side on the exam table."

"That's okay," I went on, "there are probably men out there who pay a lot of money for a good looking woman to do something like this."

"Oh wait," I said thoughtfully, "I AM paying a lot of money for a good looking woman to do this."

Luckily, she had a good sense of humor.

LoisCroft Loc: Jonesborough, Tennessee

I had a checkup a couple of weeks ago. They used to ask, "When is your birthday?" Now every one of the staff that I saw asked, "Do you know when your birthday is?" The first one that asked me that made me think it was to test my memory. When I answered that I did indeed know when it was, she looked very confused and then asked when it was. So I guess it wasn't a test.

SteveR Loc: Michigan

Just cup your hands, Jerry!!

HOHIMER

When they ask me if I am fasting, I say, ”I got here as fast as I could, considering the traffic.”

Mark Sturtevant Loc: Grand Blanc, MI

Hard to know why she wouldn't play along with jokes. But some can have a lot on their plate outside of work, with some pretty heavy concerns.

SquantoWV Loc: Born in Iowa

In 87 years I have had many hospital episodes, some serious and all with some humor. Instead of showing my scars and bitching about the 'service', I liked to tell about the humor I experienced to forget the not so humorous.
This episode occurred a few years ago when I fell, got knocked unconscious, and was taken to a hospital. This was the 2nd time in a few month's time. As before, they examined me and transferred me to another hospital 'for observation". At the final destination, they parked me in a hallway for about 18 hours. [Funny part is below.]
After 18 hours, with only 6 ounces of ginger ale and a small breakfast, I was given release papers after convincing 2 dissenting out of 10 examining doctors to release me.
The funny part occurred about an hour after the ginger ale. I noticed that a couple of other people parked in the corridor got up and walked to the toilets. I decided to go also. A nurse, viewing me through their glass-enclosed sanctuary, ran up to me and said she would help me walk to the toilet. I told her I was OK, but she insisted. I knew I couldn't spend time arguing, so I let her walk me to the door. She walked me up to the urinal. I thought she was going to leave now and I started to reach into my pants. Instead, she whips out a bottle, looks me in the eye, and says, "Do you want me to hold it?" I said, "No, I'll hold it. You can hold the bottle."